tacky tourist puns

240+ Hilarious Tourist Puns: Navigating the Laughter-Filled Expedition!

| 24 February 2024

Calling all wanderlusters, adventure seekers, and globetrotting enthusiasts! Brace yourselves for a riveting journey through a whimsical realm where travelers become tourist-pioneers, mapping out uncharted territories of laughter and delight. As we traverse the audacious landscapes of pun-derful humor, let us embark upon an extraordinary escapade, where words weave their magic, luring you into an enchanting vortex of linguistic sorcery. So fasten your wanderlust boots, grab your trusty map of mirth, and prepare for a whirlwind tour through the pun-drenched kingdom of tourists-turned-explorers. Let’s take a stride off the beaten path and allow the unexpected to ignite our senses, as we set sail on this zany escapade.

Clever tourist Puns

Why did the screwdriver break up with the wrench? It just couldn’t handle the torque!
What did the hammer say to the nail? “Let’s stick together, we make quite the pair!”
Why was the tape measure always so confident? Because it knew it had all the right dimensions!
Why did the saw go to school? To improve its cutting-edge knowledge!
Why was the drill always so supportive? It never left its friends hanging!
How does the plier handle tough situations? It always gets a good grip!
Why did the level refuse to gossip? Because it always stayed perfectly balanced!
What did the wrench say to the bolt? “You’re the missing piece to my heart !”
Why did the screw feel so important? Because it held everything together!
How does the hammer like its coffee? With plenty of nail-ugar!
Why was the tape measure so popular? Because it always measured up to expectations!
What did the screwdriver say to the screw? “You drive me crazy, but I still find you attractive!”
Why did the hammer refuse to fight? Because it believed in nailing out problems peacefully!
How does the wrench mend a broken heart? With lots of tightening and loosening!
Why was the saw so sharp? Because it always kept its teeth in good condition!
What did the screwdriver say when it fell in love ? “You’ve really turned my life around!”
Why did the plier join the gym? To get a good grip on fitness!
How does the level stay humble? It never boasts, it just stays on the level!
Why did the tape measure go to therapy? To work on its attachment issues!
What did the wrench say when it found its perfect fit? “You’re just my type!”

One-liners tourist Puns

Why did Totoro bring an umbrella to the party? Because he always makes a spore-ty entrance!
How does Totoro like his sushi? With a side of bamboo shoots and a sprinkle of Miyazaki magic!
Why did Totoro win the race? Because he’s always rooting for the forest!
Why was Totoro such a great dancer? Because he had all the right moves in the forest grove!
What’s Totoro’s favorite subject in school? My Neighbor’s Science!
Why was Totoro such a good cook? Because he knew all the best “bento-fits”!
How does Totoro communicate with other spirits? He sends “tree-mails”!
Why did Totoro become a therapist? Because he’s great at listening to people’s “forests” of problems!
Why was Totoro always invited to movie nights? Because he’s a real “film-forest”!
How does Totoro keep his garden so lush? He has a green thumb and a little bit of forest magic!
Why did Totoro start a band? Because he wanted to spread some “root-sy” tunes!
What did Totoro say when he found a four-leaf clover? “This is totoro-ly lucky!”
Why was Totoro always calm during storms? Because he knows the rain is just nature’s way of singing!
Why did Totoro visit the library? To check out some “leaf-y” literature!
What did Totoro say when he found the perfect spot for a picnic? “This is totoro-lly amazing!”
Why did Totoro go to the art museum? To appreciate some “tree-mendous” works of art!
How does Totoro like his coffee? With a little splash of forest dew and some acorn-shaped sugar cubes!
Why was Totoro such a great listener? Because he’s all ears and fur for his friends!
Why did Totoro become a detective? Because he’s great at following “leaf-y” clues!
What did Totoro say when he saw a shooting star? “Make a wish for a forest full of happiness!”

Cute tourist Puns

Why did Totoro bring a map to the forest? To navigate his way to more pun-tastic adventures!
What did Totoro say when asked about his favorite season? “I’m a fall-ow of autumn, it’s when the leaves really totoro-tate!”
Why did Totoro become a gardener? Because he wanted to grow his own “fur-est” of flowers!
What did Totoro say to the lost squirrel in the forest? “Don’t worry, I’ll help you find your way ‘nut’ of here!”
Why did Totoro start a cooking show? Because he wanted to share his favorite recipes for “totoro-ific” treats!
What did Totoro say when asked about his workout routine? “I do a lot of tree-tous exercises to stay in shape!”
Why did Totoro go to the beach ? To catch some waves and soak up the sun, he’s a real “surf-forest” enthusiast!
What did Totoro say when asked about his favorite movie genre? “I’m into ‘fantasy’ films, the ones with lots of magical creatures like me!”
Why did Totoro become a comedian? Because he loves to make people laugh with his “fur-ocious” sense of humor!
What did Totoro say when he won the lottery? “I’m going to buy a forest and fill it with even more totoro-rific friends!”
Why did Totoro become a musician? Because he loves to play his favorite instrument, the “leaf-o-lin”!
What did Totoro say when asked about his fashion sense? “I like to keep it ‘natural’, fur coats are always in style!”
Why did Totoro start a blog? To share his thoughts on all things forest-related and spread some “totoro-tally” good vibes!
What did Totoro say when asked about his favorite bedtime story? “Anything with a happy ending and lots of forest adventures, of course!”
Why did Totoro start a dance class? Because he loves to groove to the rhythm of the forest and teach others his “totoro-rific” moves!
What did Totoro say when asked about his favorite sport? “I’m a big fan of tree-climbing, it’s great exercise and offers a totoro-lly amazing view!”
Why did Totoro become a poet? Because he loves to write “fur-ever” verses inspired by the beauty of the forest!
What did Totoro say when asked about his ideal vacation destination? “Somewhere surrounded by trees and filled with peace and tranquility, that’s my idea of paradise!”
Why did Totoro become a painter? Because he loves to capture the beauty of the forest on canvas and share it with the world!
What did Totoro say when asked about his favorite hobby? “I love to spend my free time frolicking in the forest and enjoying the simple joys of nature!”

Short tourist Puns

Why did the tourist bring a ladder to the beach? Because they heard the sand was “shore”!
What did the tourist say to the mountain ? “You peak” my interest!
Why did the tourist refuse to swim in the ocean? They were afraid of “current” events!
Did you hear about the tourist who got lost in the desert ? They were in a real “oasis”!
Why did the tourist bring a map to the amusement park? Because they wanted to “ride” the attractions!
What do you call a tourist who’s always hungry? A “sightseeing” stomach!
Why did the tourist visit the clock tower? They wanted to “tick off” another landmark!
What did the tourist say to the hotel receptionist? “I’m checking in…to some fun!”
Why did the tourist go to the art museum? They wanted to “canvas” the scene!
What do you call a tourist who loves to dance? A “wanderlust” waltzer!
Why did the tourist bring a camera to the jungle? To capture some “wild” moments!
What did the tourist say to the taxi driver? “Take me on a journey, I’m ready to ‘fare’ well!”
Why did the tourist climb the ancient ruins? Because they wanted to reach new “heights”!
What do you call a tourist who loves shopping? A “souvenir” seeker!
Why did the tourist take an umbrella to the city? They heard it was going to be “metro”!
Why did the tourist go to the haunted house attraction? Because they wanted a good “scream”!
What do you call a tourist who loves history? A “past” explorer!
Why did the tourist go to the top of the skyscraper? They wanted a “bird’s-eye” view!
What did the tourist say to the tour guide in Paris? “I’m ready to ‘Louvre’ it up!”
Why did the tourist bring a compass to the forest? To find their “true north”!

Pickup tourist Puns

Are you a tourist attraction? Because you’ve got me feeling like I’m on top of the world!
Is this the tourist information center? Because I’m lost in your eyes and need directions to your heart!
Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile like I’m on vacation!
Excuse me, are you a tourist? Because you just made my heart go on an adventure!
Is this the tourist map? Because you’ve just mapped out a route to my heart!
Are you sunscreen? Because you’re protecting me from getting burnt by your beauty!
Excuse me, are you a tourist guide? Because you’re leading me to all the best spots!
Is this the tourist hotspot? Because I’m drawn to you like a magnet!
Are you a souvenir? Because I want to take you home with me!
Excuse me, are you a tourist attraction? Because I can’t stop staring at you!
Is this the tourist selfie spot? Because you and I together would make the perfect picture !
Are you a passport? Because you’re giving me the stamp of approval!
Excuse me, are you a tourist souvenir shop? Because I want to buy everything you’re selling!
Is this the tourist bus stop? Because I’m ready to go on a ride with you!
Are you a tourist map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes!
Excuse me, are you a tourist visa? Because I’m hoping you’ll let me stay in your heart!
Is this the tourist information booth? Because you’re giving me all the right directions!
Are you a postcard? Because you’re picture-perfect!
Excuse me, are you a tourist landmark? Because I can’t imagine my trip without you!
Is this the tourist souvenir shop? Because you’re the only thing I want to take home!

Subtle tourist Puns

Why did the tourist bring a ladder to the attraction? To take their sightseeing to a whole new level!
What did the lost tourist say when they finally found their way? “I’m compass-sionate about exploring!”
Why do tourists make great comedians? They always have a knack for finding the best landmarks in humor.
How do tourists stay calm during a crowded tour? They take it all in stride!
What’s a tourist’s favorite type of math? Multi-visit-cation!
Why did the tourist apply for a job at the bakery ? They heard it was the yeast they could do for a doughlightful experience!
What do you call a tourist who’s also a musician? A sightseer with perfect pitch!
How do tourists handle stress? They just take a breather and explore their options!
What’s a tourist’s favorite type of photography? Sigh-seeing!
Why do tourists make great detectives? They always follow the clues on the map!
What do you call a group of tourists taking a selfie? A click of travelers!
Why did the tourist bring a ladder to the museum? To see the art from a higher perspective!
What do you call a tourist who’s also a gardener? A sightseeder!
Why did the tourist start a rock band? They wanted to experience the thrill of the tour!
What’s a tourist’s favorite dance? The travel twirl!
Why did the tourist become a chef? They wanted to explore new tastes and flavors!
What do you call a tourist who loves wordplay? A pun-traveler!
Why did the tourist carry a notebook to the beach? To jot down some sand-sational memories!
What’s a tourist’s favorite type of weather? Wander-ful!
Why did the tourist bring a pencil to the historic site? To sketch out a sense of the past!

Questions and Answers tourist Puns

Q: What did the tourist say when asked if they wanted a map? A: “I’m not lost; I’m on a destination detour!”
Q: Why did the tourist take a suitcase to the comedy show? A: “They wanted to pack some laughs for the trip!”
Q: How did the tourist respond when someone questioned their love for traveling? A: “It’s plane to see, my heart belongs to exploring!”
Q: Why did the tourist bring a ladder to the museum? A: “To get a step up on art appreciation!”
Q: What did the tourist say when asked about their vacation plans? A: “I’m booked for a trip full of unpaved adventures!”
Q: How do tourists navigate the jungle of travel information? A: “They follow the travel vines and trust their compass-ion!”
Q: What’s a tourist’s favorite type of math? A: “Multi-visit-cation!”
Q: How do tourists stay cool during a heatwave? A: “They keep their composure and seek shade in the humor of the moment!”
Q: Why did the tourist refuse to play hide and seek? A: “They preferred to stay on the map and not wander too far off the grid!”
Q: What’s a tourist’s favorite dance move? A: “The travel twirl, of course!”
Q: Why do tourists make great detectives? A: “They always follow the clues on the map!”
Q: How did the tourist react when they found the perfect beach spot? A: “They were shore of their decision and ready to make a splash in relaxation!”
Q: Why did the tourist bring a camera to the cooking class? A: “To capture the flavor of the culinary journey!”
Q: What’s a tourist’s favorite way to express themselves? A: “Through sightseeing and selfie-expression!”
Q: Why did the tourist start a blog? A: “To share their travel-logs and give readers a glimpse into their wanderlust-filled world!”
Q: How do tourists deal with stress during a trip? A: “They take a breather and explore their options!”
Q: What’s a tourist’s favorite type of weather? A: “Wander-ful!”
Q: How did the tourist feel about the historical tour? A: “They were drawn to it like a moth to a history flame!”
Q: What’s a tourist’s favorite type of photography? A: “Sigh-seeing!”

20 Travelers’ Delight: Punning the Path of the Adventurous Tourers

Why did the tourist bring a ladder on vacation? For high sightseeing!
What do you call a tourist who can’t swim? A sightseer!
Why did the tourist go to the bakery? To get a taste of foreign bread !
What did the tourist say to the historic site? “You rock my world!”
How do tourists exercise while traveling? They go for “site”-seeing runs!
What do you call a tourist who loves puzzles? A maze-traveler!
Why did the tourist visit the farm? To see the “shear” beauty of the countryside!
What did the tourist say to the mountain? “You peak my interest!”
How do tourists make their way around a new city? They “navigate” with a map!
Why did the tourist take a picture of the hotel? It was a “snap” decision!
What do you call a tourist who’s always lost? A “wanderlust” soul!
Why did the tourist join a comedy show? For the “punny” punchlines!
How do tourists communicate with dolphins? They use “fin”-nish lessons!
Why did the tourist go to the spa? For some “relaxation” abroad!
What do you call a tourist who loves to dance? A “traveling” tango enthusiast!
Why did the tourist bring a compass to the art museum? To find their “true” north!
How do tourists make friends in a foreign country? They break the “ice” with a smile!
What did the tourist say to the ancient ruins? “You’ve really stood the test of time!”
Why did the tourist go to the concert? They wanted to “rock” their vacation!
What do you call a tourist who can’t stop shopping? A “re-tail” therapy seeker!

Another 20 Tales of Travelers: Tickling the Tourist’s Funny Bone

Why did the tourist bring a suitcase full of spices? They wanted to add some flavor to their journey!
What do you call a tourist who loves roller coasters? A thrill-seeking sightseer!
Why did the tourist bring a camera to the beach? They wanted to capture “sand”-tastic memories!
How do tourists stay entertained during long flights? They play “aeroplane” trivia games!
What do you call a tourist who’s always looking for souvenirs? A “keepsake” collector!
Why did the tourist visit the art gallery? To brush up on their cultural knowledge!
How do tourists stay in shape while traveling? They go on “vacation” workouts!
What did the tourist say to the safari guide? “Lion”-troduce me to some wildlife!
Why did the tourist bring a deck of cards to the national park? For a game of “wild” solitaire!
What do you call a tourist who loves architecture ? A “building” enthusiast!
Why did the tourist bring an umbrella to the desert? They were expecting “sand”storms!
How do tourists navigate through crowded cities? They follow their “urban” instincts!
What did the tourist say to the famous landmark? “You’re a real icon in my book !”
Why did the tourist go to the chocolate factory? To indulge in some “sweet” tourism!
How do tourists communicate with locals who speak a different language? They use “travel” dictionaries!
What do you call a tourist who loves to hike? A “trail”blazing adventurer!
Why did the tourist visit the vineyard? They wanted to “wine” down and relax!
How do tourists stay energized during long tours? They sip on “adventure” fuel!
What did the tourist say to the historical statue? “You’ve really made a lasting impression!”
Why did the tourist go to the comedy club? For a dose of “travel” laughter!

20 More Marvelous Voyagers: Punning the Path of the Adventurous Sightseer

Why did the tourist bring a snorkel to the city? They heard there were “underground” attractions!
How do tourists capture the perfect sunset photo ? They “frame” it with their camera!
What do you call a tourist who loves shopping at local markets? A “bargain” hunter !
Why did the tourist bring a map to the amusement park? They didn’t want to get “roller coast”-ed!
How do tourists stay entertained during a long train ride? They play “tracks”-tionary games!
What did the tourist say to the waterfall? “You’re truly a “cascade” of beauty!”
Why did the tourist bring binoculars to the zoo ? They wanted to get a “closer” look at the animals!
What do you call a tourist who loves to try local cuisine? An “appetourist”!
Why did the tourist visit the factory? They wanted to see how things were “manufactour”-ed!
How do tourists remember their travel experiences? They create “journey”-als and scrapbooks!
What did the tourist say to the desert? “You’re truly a “mirage”-nificent sight!”
Why did the tourist bring a compass to the amusement park? They wanted to make sure they were always “oriented”!
How do tourists communicate with animals in the wildlife reserve? They use “safari”-cated sign language!
What do you call a tourist who loves music festivals? A “melody” seeker!
Why did the tourist bring a sketchbook to the art museum? They wanted to draw inspiration from the masterpieces!
How do tourists beat the heat during summer trips? They enjoy “sightsea”-cones of ice cream !
What did the tourist say to the ancient ruins? “You’ve got me “stoned” with your beauty!”
Why did the tourist go to the theater? They wanted to see a “tour-de-force” performance!
How do tourists stay organized while exploring multiple cities? They use a “journey”-nal planner!
What did the tourist say to the famous bridge ? “You’re the “arch”-tect of my admiration!”

Another 20 Trailblazing Explorers: Unleashing the Punniness of the Adventurous Traveler

Why did the tourist bring a deck of cards to the camping trip? For a game of “camp”-site!
How do tourists capture the essence of a city? They take “postcard”-worthy photographs!
What do you call a tourist who loves exploring caves? A “speli-tourist”!
Why did the tourist bring a magnifying glass to the beach? They were searching for “shell”-arious discoveries!
How do tourists express their love for a destination? They say, “I’m “shore” glad I visited!”
What did the tourist say to the museum curator? “You’ve curated an “exhibit”-ion of brilliance!”
Why did the tourist visit the vineyard during harvest season? They wanted to experience the “grape”-est festivities!
How do tourists communicate with aliens? They use “interplanetour”-al translators!
What do you call a tourist who loves astronomy? A “planetourist”!
Why did the tourist bring a musical instrument to the park? They wanted to “tune” into nature’s rhythm!
How do tourists stay refreshed during hot summer days? They sip on “adventure”-ade!
What did the tourist say to the historical castle? “You’ve left an “impression”-ary mark in my heart!”
Why did the tourist bring a chef’s hat on vacation? To experience the “culin-tour”-al delights!
How do tourists navigate through dense forests? They follow the “trek”-kles of sunlight!
What do you call a tourist who loves mythology? A “mytho-tourist”!
Why did the tourist bring a telescope to the city? To admire the “skyline”!
How do tourists communicate with dolphins? They use “dol-fin”-nish lessons!
What do you call a tourist who loves to collect postcards? A “correspon-tourist”!
Why did the tourist bring a pedometer on vacation? To track their “expedi-tours”!
How do tourists express their appreciation for stunning vistas? They exclaim, “You’ve got a “view”-tiful landscape!”

20 Tourist-Tastic Puns: Embarking on Another Whirlwind Adventure!

Why did the tourist bring a fishing rod to the city? To catch some “urban” legends!
How do tourists navigate through crowded markets? They follow the “shop”-ping signs!
What do you call a tourist who loves hiking in the mountains? A “peak” adventurer!
Why did the tourist bring a magnifying glass to the national park? To explore the “minia-tour”-al wonders!
How do tourists communicate with elephants? They use “trunk”-ated phrases!
Why did the tourist bring a map to the amusement park? To avoid getting “dis-tour”-bed!
How do tourists stay entertained during long train rides? They play “tracks”-tionary games!
What did the tourist say to the waterfall? “You’re a “cascade” of beauty!”
Why did the tourist bring binoculars to the zoo? They wanted a “closer” look at the animals!
What did the tourist say to the famous landmark? “You’re an “icon” in my book!”
What do you call a tourist who loves to hike? A “trail”-blazer!
What did the tourist say to the historical statue? “You’ve made a “lasting” impression!”

Pun-tastic Journeys: Wrapping Up the Tourist’s Delight

Prepare for a pun-laden adventure that tickles your wanderlust and leaves you in fits of laughter. These tourist-themed puns have taken you on a whirlwind journey, exploring the hilarious side of globetrotting. But fret not, fellow traveler, the fun doesn’t end here. Dive deeper into our site to discover an abundance of puns that will continue to ignite your sense of humor. Let the pun-fueled exploration continue as you delve into more side-splitting wordplay. Your next destination awaits, promising laughter and amusement at every turn. Keep exploring, keep laughing, and uncover the hidden gems of punny delight that await you!

Table of Contents

240+ Vancouver Puns: A Multitude of Wordplay Wonders in Raincity!
240+ Cheyenne-tastic Puns: Buckle Up for a Ridiculous Rodeo of Wordplay!
240+ Cracking Cliff Puns: Scaling Heights of Hilarity!
240+ Horizons of Hilarity: Puns That’ll Send Your Spirits Skyward
240+ Puns: Country Comedy Galore!

This pun was 'pun'-ctually delivered by…

Alex Skylar

From punning around as a class clown to perfecting the pun-craft as a pun-aficionado, Alex has been 'pun'-ning in laughter since time immemorial. A ‘pun’-derkid born in 2023, he's a self-proclaimed wordplay alchemist who loves to 'pun'ctuate conversations with clever plays on words. He believes in serving ‘pun’-shine daily, turning ordinary moments into extraordinary chuckles. Alex's life is a pun-tastic journey, filled with ‘pun’-dalanches of joy that he can't wait to share with you. Get ready to be 'pun'-derstruck with his writings, as he believes in making not just puns, but making days ‘pun’-derful! Happy Reading!

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Random puns

Welcome to OGPuns, the 'pun'tacular corner of the web where laughter abounds! Created by pun-lover Alex, we believe every word has a funny side, and it's our 'pun'damental mission to share it with you. From morning puns that 'rise' to the occasion to nighttime jests that have you 'snoring' with laughter, we're your 24/7 hub for all things pun. So join us on this 'pun'-believable journey, and let's make life a little more 'pun'-tastic, one pun at a time!

Travel Quotes and Jokes

Last Updated: January 23, 2024

120 Top Travel Jokes [Genuinely Funny Jokes about Travelling]

Looking for some top travel jokes to lighten the mood on your next vacation? Check out these 120 funny jokes about travelling!

Danny Newman

I hope these jokes about travelling put a smile on your face!

On vacation and looking to lighten the mood? Well, good news:

The internet’s awash with travel jokes so bad they might actually do the trick!

Here are 118 of the best (or worst?) ones I could find that should at least put a smile on your face and help you get ready for an unforgettable adventure .

[Last updated: March 2023]

Here we go then: 118 travel jokes, one-liners, and puns about travel…

Knock-Knock Travel Jokes

Everyone loves a good knock-knock joke! While some are cheesy enough to make you cringe, there’s nothing like a surprising answer that actually makes you chuckle. These are fun and clean enough for the whole family to enjoy!

1. Knock-knock. Who’s there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep-beep!

2. Knock-knock. Who’s there? Europe. Europe who? No, I’m not! You are!

3. Knock-knock. Who’s there? Hawaii. Hawaii who? I’m good! Hawaii you?

4. Knock-knock. Who’s there?. Norma Lee Norma Lee who? Norma Lee, we go swimming on Sundays, but we wanted to visit you instead!

5. Knock-knock. Who’s there? Romeo. Romeo who? Romeo cross this lake in this canoe!

6. Knock-knock. Who’s there? Oscar. Oscar who? Oscar if she wants to go on the trip with us!

7. Knock-knock. Who’s there? Buck and Ham. Buck and Ham who? Buck and Ham palace!

8. Knock-knock Who’s there? Ron. Ron who? Ron faster! There’s a tiger after us!

9. Knock-knock Who’s there? Cameron. Cameron who? Cameron film are what we’ll need to take pictures!

10. Knock-knock Who’s there? Sherwood. Sherwood who? I Sherwood like to leave school right now for our trip!

Love animals? You’ll appreciate the following travelling jokes…

Roaringly Good Travelling Jokes

Planning to visit some wild animals on your next adventure? These 10 animal-themed jokes are sure to offer a roaring good time.

11. How do you know elephants love to travel? Because they always pack their trunk!

12. How do rabbits travel? By Hareplane!

13. Where do sharks like to go on vacation? Finland!

14. Where do hamsters like to go on vacation? Hamsterdam!

15. Where do bees like to go on vacation? Stingapore!

16. Where do sheep like to go on vacation? The Baa-hamas!

17. Where do cows like to go on vacation? Moo York!

18. What happens when you cross a snake and a plane? You get a Boeing constrictor!

19. Where do honeybees use the bathroom on a long road trip? The BP station.

20. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish? Swimming trunks.

Funny Jokes About Vacation Transportation

Planes, trains, and automobiles ! However you travel, these jokes will get you there in funny fashion.

21. What do you get when you cross a plane with a magician? A flying sorcerer!

22. Why did the librarian get chucked off the plane? Because the flight was overbooked!

23. What happens when you wear a watch on a plane? Time flies!

24. What happens if you take the five o’clock train home? You have to give it back!

25. What’s worse than raining cats and dogs on vacation? Hailing taxi.

26. What kind of car does Yoda drive around in? A Toyoda.

27. Which automobile is best for a family road trip across the ocean? A Honda Sea-RV.

28. I don’t want to take my dog on road trips! He can be such a bark seat driver.

29. The food on the small aircraft wasn’t good…It was a little plane.

30. Who invented the first airplane that couldn’t take off? The Wrong Brothers.

Here are some of the best vacation jokes on the net!

Vacation Jokes About Geography

Whether you’re going halfway around the world or just to a neighboring city , pull out a map and enjoy these guffaws about geography.

31. Where do pepperonis like to go on vacation? The Leaning Tower Of Pizza!

32. Where is a teacher’s favourite holiday destination? Times Square!

33. Which country is filled with the most germs? Germany!

34. What did E.T.’s mother say to him when he got home? “Where on Earth have you been?”

35. I’d love to travel to Finland…but I’m afraid I might disappear into FinAir!

36. Why don’t aliens visit our planet? It has terrible ratings. One star.

37. I LIKE TO WRITE MY JOKES IN CAPITALS. THIS ONE WAS WRITTEN IN PARIS.

38. Two blondes were driving to Disneyland. They saw a sign, started crying and went home. The sign said, “Disneyland Left”.

39. What travels around the world but stays in one corner? A stamp.

40. Which U.S. state is round at the ends and high in the middle? Ohio!

Great Travelling Puns

Who doesn’t love puns about travel? These next 10 jokes offer destination-specific double meanings perfect for any travel lover!

41. I took four hours to check out of my hotel in Japan. The receptionist told me, “You really Tokyo time.”

42. I love travelling to France. There’s nothing Toulouse.

43. Why are the winters so cold in America? I think Alaska local.

44. I haven’t slept in days because I am about to climb the highest mountain in the world. I wonder whether I will Everest.

45. Mountains are not just funny, they are really hilly areas.

46. The airline lost my luggage, so I sued them. Unfortunately, I lost the case.

47. I love glamping. My current mood is pretty tents!

48. Which U.S. state has the tiniest drinks? Mini Soda.

49. Going vacationing at the coast? Remember to keep it reel.

50. I’m not too good at geography, but I can name at least one city in France. That’s Nice.

Travelling puns and one-liners might not make you laugh out loud, but they may bring a smile to your lips!

One-Liners About Travel

Short, sweet, and to the point. These one-liners pack a lot into quick punchline!

51. Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

52. We’re all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour.

53. I have an irrational fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.

54. You can’t make everyone happy, unless you’re a plane ticket.

55. I wanted to make a joke about time travel, but you guys didn’t like it.

56. Flat-earthers travel the world on a plane!

57. I wonder how many miles I’ve scrolled with my thumb.

58. I need six months of vacation, twice a year.

59. Girls always travel in odd numbers because they can’t even.

60. I’d love to go to Holland one day, wooden shoe?

Jokes About Hiking and Traveling

Does your idea of a great getaway involve scaling the summit ? If so, you’ll love these jokes about hiking!

61. Don’t love the water? Hiking is great for an altitude adjustment!

62. When going to the bathroom in the woods, you have to use the facilitrees.

63. Want to know our plan for today’s hike? I’ll summit up nicely.

64. My favorite trail mix includes songs from The Cranberries, Peanuts, and Eminem.

65. These particular mountains give me a Rushmore than others.

66. I’m confused. The trail looked so flat on the map!

67. Did you hear the joke about the hill? No one could get over it!

68. How do crazy hikers get out of the forest? They take the psychopath

69. What’s the best jacket to wear on a hike? A trailblazer!

70. Hipsters like to hike backcountry rivers. They’re less mainstream.

You can’t go wrong with road trip jokes!

Travelling Jokes About Road Trips

Planning an epic road trip this summer? You’ll need funny fuel to make it all the way! Here are a few jokes to keep you going.

71. Where did the heart, liver, and kidney go on a road trip? Oregon

72. Don’t worry if our old car breaks down on our trip through Canada. I have Triple Eh.

73. Drove through Covert, New York on a road trip once. Didn’t notice.

74. I love when flies won’t leave my car on long road trips. Have fun moving to Kansas, tiny pest.

75. Why couldn’t the frog find where he parked his car? He’d been toad.

76. It’s fun to drive in the outback, but you’ll need to show koala-fications.

77. What has 10 letters and starts with G-A-S? Automobile.

78. I got gas for $1.99 at lunch. Unfortunately, it was from Taco Bell.

79. If I owned a DeLorean…I’d probably only drive it from time to time.

80. When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway.

Jokes About Going on Vacation

Need a little R&R? If you’re traveling solely for the purpose of wining, dining, and soaking in the view, then these jokes are for you!

81. Do fish go on vacation? No, they’re always in school!

82. Why can’t basketball players go on vacation? They’d get called for travelling!

83. What’s gray and has four legs and a trunk? A mouse on vacation!

84. Why did the robot go on vacation? He needed to recharge his batteries!

85. What’s brown, hairy, and wears sunglasses? A coconut on vacation!

86. What kind of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree!

87. What does it cost to spend the day at the beach? A few sand dollars.

88. Where do meteorologists travel to relax? The isobar!

89. Me: “I’d love to travel more”. The bank account: “Like, to the park?”

90. My favourite childhood memory is my parents paying for my holidays.

Some of the best travel jokes are all about the travel bug!

Love travel jokes? You might like these posts too:

150 Couple Travel Quotes
25 Unforgettable Family Travel Quotes
20 Thought-Provoking Living Abroad Quotes
50 Funny Road Trip Quotes

Jokes About Travel Obsessions

Do you live, sleep, and breathe travel? Is all of your free time spent planning your next getaway? If so, you’ll relate to these side-splitters!

91. My passport just called me. It’s super bored. Guess I have to travel then!

92. I want to go to Bora-Bora, but I’m too Pora-Pora.

93. I get so tired of waking up and not being at the beach.

94. I wish I was a postcard. For less than $2, you can travel the world!

95. Sure, working is great. But, have you tried travelling?

96. I followed my heart, and it led me to the airport.

97. I’ve got 99 problems, but I’m on vacation so I’m ignoring them all!

98. Why can’t I find someone who looks at me the way I look at a travel magazine?

99. Can’t decide if I need a hug, a dark coffee, 6 shots of vodka, or two months of travel.

100. A plane ticket is the answer. Who cares what the question is?!

Miscellaneous Jokes About Travel

Still searching for the perfect joke about travel? This final section of miscellaneous puns and jokes might do the trick.

101. Person A: “I tried to sue the airline that lost my luggage.” Person B: “Did you win?” Person A: “No, I lost the case.”

101. Why does nobody like the plane? It has a bad altitude .

102. What’s the capital of Spain? S .

103. German sausage jokes are just the wurst .

104. Don’t plan your vacation with a broken pencil. It’s absolutely pointless .

105. Oceans are so friendly. They’re always waving at you.

106. Never fly on Peter Pan Airways. They neverland .

107. Why did the pirate book a vacation? He needed some ARGH and ARGH.

108. Why did the robot book a vacation? He had to recharge his batteries.

109. What made the librarian angry at the airport? His flight was overbooked .

110. Why did the flight attendant apologize to the family of elephants? They were only allowed one trunk onboard.

111. Who built the first plane that couldn’t take off? The Wrong brothers.

112. What did the Canadian pay for in case their car broke down on their road trip? Triple Eh .

113. How do fleas like to travel? They ‘itch hike .

114. Where did the cows decide to travel? Moo York .

115. What did the lazy baguette do on holiday? It just loafed around .

116. You must be from Ecuador, because you have the Quito my heart.

117. What do travelers like best about Switzerland? I’m not sure, but the flag’s a big plus.

118. What happens when you wear a watch on a plane? Time flies.

Enjoy These Jokes About Travelling

Travelling might have its serious side, but it can be pretty funny, too!

While some of the one-liners above may fall into the “dad joke” category, they’re sure to give you at least a little chuckle.

Whether you’re stuck riding shotgun, waiting for your flight, or lounging on your hotel bed, enjoy these and smile!

Heading for the hills? Check out these 55 mountain puns and jokes before your big trip!

100+ Travel Puns to Make Travel Lovers Laugh

By Box of Puns Team

Updated: March 13, 2024

Travel provides new experiences. Whether you’re looking for funny captions or ways to spark laughter, read the best travel puns.

Travel is wonderful. You explore other cultures, learn new things, and it’s a fun adventure.

Whether you’re back from a trip or preparing for one, puns are witty and excellent for sharing.

The following are the best travel puns to share on social media, with friends, or for your enjoyment.

Related : The Funniest Country Name Puns

The best travel puns.

1 . This trip is amazing. You can’t say it’s plane .

2 . I a- door this city.

3 . There snow way I’m going back home.

4 . A port of me will always stay here.

5 . I just want to Rome around.

6 . You’re traveling to South America? I don’t Bolivia.

7 . A hamster’s favorite vacation spot is Hamster-dam.

8 . I went on a beach vacation to shell-ebrate my birthday .

9 . Thai and stop me.

10 . Canyon believe this beautiful view?

11 . Adios, beaches .

12 . The temples are Buddha-ful.

13 . I have nothing Toulouse.

14 . Let’s seas the day.

15 . Tropic like it’s hot .

16 . Don’t get tide down. There’s so much to sea.

17 . It’s impossible to ruin this view.

18 . This place is rem-arc-able.

19 . Beach you to it.

20 . Keep palm and carry on.

Airplane puns

1 . Being in the sky feels air-mazing.

2 . We don’t have an itinerary. So, we’re going to wing it.

3 . I sued an airline for losing my luggage. Unfortunately, I lost the case.

4 . It was love at first flight.

5 . If life gets too Boeing, take a flight.

6 . I arrived at the airport with minutes to sp-air.

7 . Oh, for flying out loud.

8 . This vacation was the flight choice.

9 . Keeping this vacation plane and simple.

10 . That flight flew by.

11 . I’m a mountain climber. I keep my airplane in the cliff-hangar.

12 . Invisible planes will never be a thing. I just can’t see them taking off.

13 . This vacation is just plane awesome.

14 . I’ve been needing this vacation. Words can’t ex-plane.

15 . Each vacation reaches new heights.

1 . I sleep so well in this hotel. I have suite dreams.

2 . At least hotel employees aren’t hostel.

3 . You’re lodge-r than life.

4 . Life is bedder on vacation.

5 . I used to rely on hotels. Now, I’m inn-dependent.

1 . I keep losing my train of thought.

2 . I think we’re on the right track.

3 . The restaurant was hidden in train sight.

4 . Traveling by train is harder than it steams.

5 . It’s a freight day to travel by train.

6 . This is the train point of my trip.

1 . You’ve yacht to be kidding me.

2 . I’m having a ferry good time .

3 . There are a lot of people on this cruise. Boat loads.

4 . It’s a-boat time I went on vacation.

5 . I’m having a hull of a time.

6 . We’ll get there schooner or later.

7 . Keeping it reel on vacation.

8 . Buoy, are these views fin-tastic?

9 . I’m feeling nauti.

10 . Oh ship, we’re sailing!

11 . Last, boat naut least.

12 . What an oar-deal.

13 . Don’t be so stern.

14 . My boat vacation went by too quickly. I must’ve been on Usain Boat.

15 . This boat tells incredible stories. It always has a ferry-tail ending.

Road trip puns

1 . Knock knock . Who’s there? RV. RV who? RV there yet?

2 . I’ve been driving all day. I need a brake.

3 . We’re Audi here.

4 . We’re going on an ad-van-ture.

5 . I saw windmills on my road trip. I was a huge fan.

6 . All this driving is tire-ing.

7 . When Yoda goes on a road trip, he drives a To-Yoda.

8 . When Satan goes on a road trip, he takes Route 666.

9 . My dog is a bark-seat driver.

10 . I’m having a wheel-y nice time.

11 . Asphalt keeps me grounded.

12 . We can’t a-Ford to fly. So, we’re driving.

Geography puns

1 . I’m Havana great time on this trip.

2 . We Ghana travel together again.

3 . Sorry, Iran out of travel puns.

4 . The Spain is real.

5 . I’ve been Washington’s of plates.

6 . I went to a New Delhi. It was pretty good.

7 . I just got a New Jersey! I’m excited to wear it.

8 . Venice this going to end?

9 . Hawaii you doing today?

10 . Europe next.

11 . The best place to find small soft drinks is Minnesota.

12 . I don’t need a map. If I get lost, Alaska local for directions.

13 . There’s Norway I’m ending this vacation.

14 . I love going to South Korea with you. You’re my Seoul-mate.

15 . Mountains are just hill areas.

16 . Volcanoes are rude. They keep int-erupt-ing.

17 . We made it to the Finnish line.

18 . Czechs don’t have time to waste. They’re Prague-matic.

19 . Kenya tell me what your favorite vacation spot is?

20 . Oman, this is an amazing view.

21 . This country is un-Belize-able.

22 . This is Maui do it.

23 . I Tokyo seat on the plane.

24 . After going to Bora Bora, I’m now pora pora.

25 . Hiking is the best way to get an altitude adjustment.

Camping puns

1 . Glamping is pretty tents.

2 . Camping is a five-billion-star hotel.

3 . I’m always down to camp s’more .

4 . May the forest be with you.

5 . Pitch, don’t kill my vibe.

6 . Alpaca my tent.

7 . Axe , and you shall receive.

8 . Wood you like to go camping?

9 . I camp believe you’ve never slept in a tent.

10 . Release the tent-sion with a relaxing camping trip.

11 . I’m a happy camper.

12 . Camp s’more, worry less.

13 . Home is where you park it.

14 . All you need to start a campfire are two identical sticks. Then, you’ll have a match.

15 . Camp perfectly. The stakes are high.

Related : Anti-Jokes So Unfunny They’re Hilarious

Featured image by David Em/Box of Puns .

About Box of Puns

Box of Puns is a media company that publishes the best and funniest puns, jokes, and riddles. Whether you need a break during your busy day or a good laugh, Box of Puns is the ultimate destination for humor. Learn more about Box of Puns

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129+ Hilarious Travel Puns That Will Make Your Trip Unforgettable!

Travel✈️ is any or every time we move from one place to another. Usually, as the lay man people take this word only when they may move from one city to another or from one country to another.

Mentioned below are some best travel puns that you can actually always use. Welcome aboard, pun enthusiasts!

Prepare for takeoff as we go on a hilarious journey filled with travel puns that’ll have you laughing😂 all the way to your next destination.

Funny Travel Puns

Q: Have you watched that movie ‘Travel Dead’? A: Yes, I have seen it.

Q: What kind of cake do you want for your birthday? A: I just want a black tourist cake for my birthday.

Q: Why did the traveler go to the beach? A: To find some shore-ly good puns!

Q: What do you call a traveling skeleton? A: A bone-voyager.

Q: What’s a traveler’s favorite type of math? A: Geography!

Q: Why did the traveler become a baker? A: To make a world of delicious treats. My Experience : Reminds me of a friend who, after traveling extensively and experiencing various cuisines around the world, decided to pursue a career in baking. Their goal was to recreate the flavors and memories of their travels through delectable pastries and desserts.

Q: Why did the traveler become a lawyer? A: To explore the world of legal briefs.

Q: What’s a traveler’s favorite type of book? A: Globe-trotting tales.

Q: What do you call a traveler that’s a superhero? A: Captain Wanderlust!

Q: Why did the traveler become a teacher? A: To teach the art of adventure.

Q: What’s a traveler’s favorite type of movie? A: The Wanderer’s Chronicles!

Q: Why did the traveler become a doctor? A: To cure a case of wanderlust.

Destination Delights 🌟🚗

Q: What’s a traveler’s favorite type of weather? A: Adventure-filled skies.

Q: Why did the traveler become a scientist? A: To explore the world’s mysteries.

Q: What’s a traveler’s favorite type of music? A: World beats.

Q: Why did the traveler join the military? A: To see the world and serve.

Q: Why did the traveler become a sculptor? A: To create adventure-inspired art.

Q: What’s a traveler’s favorite type of sport? A: World-ball.

Have A Travel Pun Of Your Own? Share In The Comments! Especially Like This 🤣

Q: What do you call a traveler that’s a life coach? A: A journey mentor.

Q: Why did the traveler become an archaeologist? A: To uncover ancient adventures.

Q: What do you call a traveler that’s a comedian? A: A wander-laughter.

Q: What’s a traveler’s favorite type of party? A: A wander-bash.

Q: Why did the traveler become a fitness instructor? A: To stretch their horizons. Pro Experience : This reminds me of a friend who, after exploring different cultures and lifestyles during their travels, decided to delve into fitness and wellness. By becoming a fitness instructor, they aimed to share their passion for healthy living and help others broaden their perspectives on physical well-being.

Q: What do you call a traveler that’s a software developer? A: A code wanderer.

Q: Why did the traveler become a politician? A: To bring wanderlust to the world.

Q: What do you call a traveler that’s a bartender? A: A globe-trotting mixologist.

Q: Why did the traveler become a movie director? A: To make journey-inspired films.

Q: What do you call a traveler that’s a writer? A: A globe-trotting author.

Q: Why did the traveler become a marine biologist? A: To explore the depths of the ocean.

Journey Jests 🚶‍♂️🤭

Q: Why did the traveler become a translator? A: To bridge the language gap around the world.

Q: What do you call a traveler that’s an architect? A: A wanderlust-inspired builder.

Q: Why did the traveler become a journalist? A: To share stories from around the globe.

Q: Why did the traveler become a chef? A: To cook up global cuisine.

Q: What do you call a traveler that’s a dancer? A: A wandering foxtrotter.

Q: Why did the traveler become an environmentalist? A: To protect the world they love.

Got A Travel Pun? Drop Your Comments! Especially Like This 🤣

Q: What’s a traveler’s favorite type of poetry? A: Journey-inspired verses.

Q: Why did the traveler become a historian? A: To walk through the past.

Q: What do you call a traveler that’s a stand-up comedian? A: A laugh-wanderer.

Q: What do you call a traveler that’s a philosopher? A: A wandering thinker.

Q: What’s a traveler’s favorite type of dessert? A: Adventure pie. Sigma Experience: This brings to mind a fellow adventurer I met during a trip, who always sought out unique culinary experiences, especially when it came to desserts. They often joked about how each dessert was like a slice of adventure pie, offering a taste of the local culture and flavors from around the world.

Q: Why did the traveler become an astronaut? A: To explore space and beyond.

Q: What’s a traveler’s favorite type of fruit? A: Globe-trotting kiwis.

Q: Why did the traveler become a painter? A: To capture the beauty of their journeys on canvas.

Q: What do you call a traveler that’s a photographer? A: A globe-snapper.

Q: Why did the traveler become a philosopher? A: To ponder the mysteries of the world.

Q: What’s a traveler’s favorite type of animal? A: The world-roaming elephant.

Adventure Antics 🏞️🎭

Q: Why did the traveler become a geologist? A: To study the Earth’s fascinating formations.

Q: What do you call a traveler that’s a linguist? A: A language wanderer.

Q: Why did the traveler become a musician? A: To compose melodies inspired by their travels.

Q: What’s a traveler’s favorite type of car? A: The adventure-ready Jeep.

Q: Why did the traveler become an astronomer? A: To gaze at the stars and explore the universe.

Exploring “Travel Puns” has been a journey filled with laughter! Did these puns take you on a humor-filled adventure or make you smile like a traveler with a good map?

We’re all ears for your thoughts. Your feedback guides our route to delivering more pun-tastic fun! ✈️

More To Explore:

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190 Funny Travel Puns & Vacation Puns for Instagram Captions

funny travel puns and vacation puns with a map and passport

In the realm of Instagram captions, travel puns and vacation puns reign supreme. They add the perfect dash of humor to your wanderlust-infused posts , turning them from simple trip updates into sources of joy and laughter.

As a travel writer and an expert in crafting Instagram captions, I’ve traversed over 40 countries , unraveling the humor tucked away in each journey. What I’ve learned from living abroad is that every step can inspire a giggle and every scenery, a joke.

That’s why, in this post, I’ve rounded up 190 of the most hilarious travel jokes , vacation jokes, and jokes about traveling to add that funny bone to your Insta game. These aren’t your average dad travel jokes but they are full of wit and creativity.

Brace yourselves, your Instagram captions are about to board a flight of hilarity.

* This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission, at no extra cost to you, if you make a purchase through a link. Please see my full disclosure for further information.

Funny Travel Puns

Ready to embark on a journey filled with funny travel puns? These quips are more than just cheap flights of fancy—they’re first-class tickets to humor that will leave your followers in stitches. Buckle up as we journey through ten of the funniest puns about travel, crafted to lighten up your travel diaries.

Traveling to the USA? I’ve written up a comprehensive list of the best California puns , jokes about San Francisco , funny Hawaii puns and NYC puns for your reading delight.

“I’m Havana great time in Cuba!”

“2. You Rome around and end up in the most ‘pasta-tively’ amazing places!”

3. “Feeling ‘Finntastic’ in Helsinki!”

4. “I can’t ‘Belize’ how beautiful this place is!”

5. “Eiffel in love with Paris at first sight.”

6. “Venice to meet you, beautiful city!”

7. “You’d Bay-k-u to be as lucky as me in Azerbaijan!”

8. “Having a ‘whale’ of a time in Norway!”

9. “Fjord to choose one favorite spot, it would be Norway!”

10. “Beaches love my sunny personality.”

Short Travel Jokes

There’s a subtle art to crafting short travel jokes that pack a punch. It’s all about finding the funny in the fleeting moments, the unexpected stops and the bumpy flights. They are the condensed versions of our travel dad jokes, offering mirthful reflections on our shared wanderlust.

11. “Why don’t we ever play hide and seek with mountains? They always peak!”

12. “Why did the tourist get cold at the equator? He left his windows ‘polar’ open!”

13. “Why don’t secrets work on a vacation? Because even a suitcase can’t keep its lips sealed.”

14. “Why did the tomato turn red on vacation? Because it saw the salad dressing!”

15. “Why don’t airplanes ever get lost? They always take flight paths!”

16. “Why do travelers trust their cars? They always take them on road ‘trips’!”

17. “What’s a globetrotter’s favorite exercise? Cardio-van!”

18. “Why do tourists go to bakeries? They knead a break.”

19. “Why are road trips the best form of therapy? They help you find your route!”

20. “Why don’t globetrotters get tired? They always follow their wander-rest.”

yellow van driving on a road through organic red rocks make a great travel joke

Catchy Traveling Jokes

There’s something irresistibly contagious about traveling jokes. Perhaps it’s how they encapsulate our shared experiences, turning the quirks of our journeys into hearty laughter. These catchy traveling jokes are the perfect companions for your next adventure, adding a spark of humor to your shared experiences.

21. “How does a globe-trotter say goodbye? ‘Alpaca my bags!'”

22. “Why did the backpacker carry a map? He didn’t want to go off on a tangent!”

23. “Why don’t travelers get old? They keep going on new trips!”

24. “Why do globetrotters make great detectives? They always get the ‘route’ of the problem!”

25. “What do you call a country that only serves fast food? A ‘fast-paced’ nation!”

26. “Why did the photographer carry a clock on his journey? He wanted to ‘watch’ the world!”

27. “What do you call a well-organized traveler? Someone who ‘packs’ a punch!”

28. “Why are comedians the best travelers? They always crack up on their trips!”

29. “Why don’t tourists in Egypt ever get lost? They always follow their ‘mummy’!”

30. “What do you call a traveler who never sleeps? A ‘knight’ wanderer!”

Jokes about Traveling and Food

Travel and food are the perfect recipe for laughter. Stirring up humor from our culinary escapades, these jokes about traveling and food are a delectable addition to your Instagram captions, adding flavor to your mouthwatering images and stories.

31. “Why don’t we tell secrets at a campground? The potatoes have ‘eyes’, the corn has ‘ears’ and the beans ‘stalk’!”

32. “Why was the bread on vacation a ‘roll’ model? It never loafed around!”

33. “What’s a tourist’s favorite type of pasta? ‘Travel’-oni!”

34. “Why did the traveler bring yeast on his journey? He wanted everything to ‘rise’ to the occasion!”

35. “What’s a globe-trotter’s favorite type of party? A ‘tea’-party!”

36. “Why did the burger take a vacation? It wanted to ketchup on life!”

37. “Why are tacos the best travel companions? They always spice things up!”

38. “Why do travelers love a good brew? It makes them feel ‘hoppy’!”

39. “What’s a foodie’s favorite part of a journey? The ‘taste’ of adventure!”

40. “What do you call a well-traveled piece of bread? A ‘crust’-world traveler!”

colorful homes on the side of a rock cliff with water below

Funny Vacation Jokes

Vacations are the perfect time to unwind, relax, and share a hearty laugh. From the funny mishaps to the surprising discoveries, these funny vacation jokes encapsulate the lighter side of taking a break. So sit back, enjoy the humor, and get ready to LOL on your next holiday.

41. “Why don’t vacations ever get lost? They always follow the ‘holiday’ road!”

42. “Why are vacations the best comedians? They always crack you ‘up’!”

43. “What do you call a snowman on vacation? A ‘melt’-away!”

44. “Why did the traveler go on a diet during his vacation? He didn’t want any ‘extra baggage’!”

45. “Why did the sand blush on vacation? The sea waves!”

46. “What’s a vacation’s favorite type of math? ‘Sum’-mer math!”

47. “Why do vacations make great actors? They’re always in the ‘holiday’ spirit!”

48. “Why did the sun go on a vacation? It needed to lighten up!”

49. “What’s a tourist’s favorite type of music? ‘Trip’ hop!”

50. “Why was the beach the best vacation spot? It always waved ‘hi’!”

Best Vacation Puns

The best vacation puns are like the perfect travel snapshots – they capture the spirit of a place with a dash of humor. These pun-tastic vacation highlights are your secret ingredient for an Instagram caption that stands out. Visiting a hot destination? These are the perfect sunshine captions for your next post. Or perhaps a desert like the Sahara or Death Valley? These witty desert puns have you covered.

51. “Sea you at the beach!”

52. “Life’s a beach, enjoy the ‘waves’!”

53. “I’m in a serious ‘re-lake-tionship’!”

54. “Having a ‘shell’ of a time at the beach!”

55. “Keep palm and carry on!”

56. “Don’t ‘desert’ me now!”

57. “I’m all about that ‘beach’ life!”

58. “Beach, please!”

59. “Tropic like it’s hot!”

60. “Sandy toes, sun-kissed nose!”

bright blue water with green trees on an island puns

Airplane Puns

Up in the skies, there’s no shortage of humor. These airplane puns will take your Instagram captions to new heights, making sure your humor is flying high as you cruise through the clouds.

61. “Having a ‘plane’ awesome time up here!”

62. “I’m on ‘cloud nine’!”

63. “This trip is really ‘taking off’!”

64. “Just ‘winging’ it on this flight!”

65. “I’ve got that ‘jet-set’ mindset!”

66. “In-flight meals are really ‘plane’ food!”

67. “Life is better in the ‘sky-lane’!”

68. “Just ‘air-living’ my best life!”

69. “Feeling ‘first-classy’ up here!”

70. “This flight is absolutely ‘fly’!”

Witty Jokes about Flying

The miracle of flight is not just awe-inspiring—it can be downright hilarious, too! These witty jokes about flying will make sure your Instagram captions never have a layover from laughter.

71. “Why did the airplane get a timeout? It had a bad ‘attitude’!”

72. “Why don’t planes ever get tired? They have a lot of ‘fans’!”

73. “Why was the airplane always happy? It always took things ‘lightly’!”

74. “Why do birds not use Facebook? They already tweet in the sky!”

75. “What do you call a plane that’s afraid to fly? A ‘scared-e-cat’!”

76. “Why don’t planes ever get lost? They always ‘wing it’!”

77. “Why was the airplane always cold? It left all its ‘windows’ open!”

78. “What’s an airplane’s favorite game? ‘Runway’ or the highway!”

79. “Why did the plane go to school? It wanted to improve its ‘landing’ skills!”

80. “Why did the airplane bring sunscreen? It didn’t want to catch a ‘flair’!”

vintage camera and polaroid photos on a map puns

Map Puns for Travel

There’s something uniquely amusing about cartography, and these map puns capture that hilarity in the most delightful way. Navigate your way through these puns for an Instagram caption that charts a course to laughter.

81. “You ‘meridian’ my mind!”

82. “This adventure is ‘off the charts’!”

83. “Just ‘longitude’ and latitude!”

84. “Map my words, this trip is incredible!”

85. “Globe-trotting and ‘map’ plotting!”

86. “Finding my ‘latitude’ in life!”

87. “Life is ‘map’nificent!”

88. “Just ‘scale’-ing new heights!”

89. “I’m on top of the ‘map’!”

90. “Chart-ing my own path!”

Island Jokes for Vacation

Island life is the perfect setting for some beachy humor. These island jokes for vacation capture the fun, sun, and surf of a tropical getaway. They’ll make your Instagram captions as refreshing as a cool sea breeze. Heading to the beautiful Hawaiian islands? These Hawaii puns , inspiring Hawaii quotes or Maui jokes for Instagram have you covered.

91. “Why did the sand go to school? To become a little ‘brighter’!”

92. “Why was the beach so good at calming people down? It always waved ‘hi’!”

93. “Why do islands never get lost? They always ‘follow the current’!”

94. “Why did the island win an award? It was outstanding in its ‘field’!”

95. “What do islands use to make a call? A ‘shell’-phone!”

96. “Why was the ocean friendly to the island? It gave it a ‘wave’!”

97. “Why don’t islands ever go out of style? They always keep it ‘shore’!”

98. “Why was the island so popular? It was a ‘hot spot’!”

99. “Why did the island become a gardener? It loved ‘plantations’!”

100. “Why did the island go on a diet? It wanted a ‘beach body’!”

white lighthouse on rocks with ocean below

A stay at a hotel can be an experience full of fun, comfort, and yes, humor! These hotel puns are ready to check-in to your Instagram captions, providing a suite touch of laughter.

101. “Having a ‘suite’ time at the hotel!”

102. “This hotel stay is ‘room-arkable’!”

103. “Life is ‘maid’ better with room service!”

104. “At the hotel, I feel like a ‘guest’ star!”

105. “Feeling ‘inn’credible at this place!”

106. “I’ve got ‘lofty’ ambitions for this vacation!”

107. “Just ‘bed-ding’ down for the night!”

108. “Life is ‘suite’ at the top!”

109. “In a ‘roomantic’ getaway!”

110. “Having a ‘rest’-ful vacation!”

Puns about Countries

Travel is an opportunity to immerse oneself in diverse cultures, and these puns about countries are here to celebrate this vibrant tapestry of experiences. They’re a passport to laughter, ready to stamp their humor onto your Instagram captions.

111. “This country has stolen a ‘pizza’ my heart!”

112. “I ‘Russia’d to see this beautiful sight!”

113. “I’m ‘China’ have a good time here!”

114. “This place is ‘Egyp-tacular’!”

115. “India-ed, this journey is amazing!”

116. “Nothing can ‘matcha’ the beauty of Japan!”

117. “It’s ‘Swede’ to be traveling again!”

118. “Can’t ‘Belgium’-ine how lovely this is!”

119. “Greece-ing the wheels of my wanderlust!”

120. “I’m ‘Finland’-ing my travel groove!”

woman walking through at night through a city puns

Travel Jokes about Cities

Exploring the urban landscape can bring out some unexpected humor. Bright lights, bustling streets, and towering skyscrapers create a playground for laughs. These city-centric travel jokes, infused with metropolitan wit, will make your Instagram captions a hit in the concrete jungle. Heading to sunny San Francisco or LA? Grab one of these fun San Francisco quotes or LA captions .

Is London calling? Of course, I have you covered with the best London captions for Instagram , too.

121. “Cities have a lot of ‘paved’ achievements under their belt!”

122. “Urban planning is no ‘concrete’ science. It’s always evolving!”

123. “Ever notice how cities are always ‘up’ to something?”

124. “In city life, everything is ‘sky’-high, even the rent!”

125. “Cities can be quite ‘street’-smart when they want to be!”

126. “Metropolitan areas sure love their ‘grid’-locks!”

127. “Tall buildings are the city’s way of ‘reaching’ out!”

128. “City folks are always ‘rushing’, even when they’re not in a hurry!”

129. “Cities never ‘sleep’, they just take power naps!”

130. “Every city is a ‘boulevard’ of broken dreams and shiny new ones!”

Cute Tourist Jokes

Being a tourist often means embracing the unexpected, funny moments that make each trip unique. With these cute tourist jokes, your travel and puns infused Instagram captions will be as captivating as your holiday snaps.

131. “Tourists always have a ‘world’-wind romance with their destinations!”

132. “Every traveler has a ‘point’ of interest – the next adventure!”

133. “Tourists can really ‘map’ out their happiness!”

134. “Vacation photographs always have a ‘shutter’-fly effect on me!”

135. “Tourists often ‘fall’ for the charm of autumn travels!”

136. “Travelers are just ‘plane’ crazy about new adventures!”

137. “Tourists love to ‘sea’ the world, don’t they?”

138. “Globetrotters are the ‘reel’ deal when it comes to spinning travel tales!”

139. “Who else ‘beaches’ about the end of a vacation?”

140. “Tourists are always on a ‘roll’, especially when it involves sushi in Japan!”

Road Trip Puns

Hitting the open road is a quintessential part of the travel experience. Here, every turn and detour is an opportunity for a giggle or two. With these road trip puns, your Instagram captions about long drives will cruise through the laughter highway in style.

141. “Taking the ‘scenic route’ to happiness!”

142. “This road trip is ‘driving’ me crazy with joy!”

143. “I’ve got the ‘travel bug’, better ‘car’-antine myself!”

144. “Highway to ‘hell-o’ beautiful landscapes!”

145. “Just ‘road’-mancing the world!”

146. “Feeling ‘tire’-d, but the journey is worth it!”

147. “Living life in the ‘fast lane’!”

148. “I’m on a ‘roll’, nothing can ‘brake’ me!”

149. “Car trips always ‘fuel’ my sense of adventure!”

150. “I’ve got a ‘street’ sense for adventure!”

Fall Travel Puns

Autumn brings a cornucopia of color and charm to our travels. Here are some fall travel puns that will add a bit of seasonal humor to your Instagram captions, making them as crisp and delightful as an autumn day. I particularly love NYC in the fall with the beautiful orange leaves. If you happen to visiting, make sure to have one of these Central Park puns or Brooklyn Bridge captions in your back pocket.

151. “Having a ‘gourd’ time on my autumn travels!”

152. “I ‘fall’ for travel every time!”

153. “This journey is ‘unbe-leaf-able’!”

154. “I’m so ‘ready’ for sweater weather!”

155. “I ‘autumn’-atically feel happier when traveling!”

156. “Taking the ‘scenic route’ to fall in love with autumn!”

157. “Travel during fall? ‘Yes, I ‘leaf’ can!”

158. “Fall travels leave me ‘pumpkin’-d!”

159. “Autumn voyages really ‘rake’ in the fun!”

160. “Oh my ‘gourd’, this fall trip is amazing!”

man standing on a road and in the distance are mountain puns

Winter Travel Puns

Winter travels carry their own charm, with snow-laden landscapes and cozy firesides. These cool winter travel puns will add some seasonal sparkle to your Instagram captions, making them as inviting as a mug of hot cocoa on a frosty day.

161. “I’m ‘snow’ excited about this trip!”

162. “This journey is ‘flake’-ing awesome!”

163. “Winter travels always ‘melt’ my heart!”

164. “Having an ‘ice’ time on my winter getaway!”

165. “I’m ‘freezing’ these memories in time!”

166. “My travel spirit never ‘frosts’ over!”

167. “Ice to meet you, Winter Wonderland!”

168. “Winter vacations? ‘Snow’ problem!”

169. “I ‘sleigh’ when it comes to winter travels!”

170. “Stay ‘frosty’, my winter adventure has just begun!”

Spring Vacation Puns

Spring is a time of renewal, and what’s better than rejuvenating your senses with a lovely vacation? These spring vacation puns are as refreshing as a spring breeze, ready to blossom in your Instagram captions.

“171. I’ve got a ‘spring’ in my step on this trip!”

172. “This journey is ‘blooming’ marvelous!”

173. “Spring travels always ‘grow’ on me!”

174. “I’m ‘be-leaf-ing’ in the magic of travel!”

175. “This trip has ‘sprung’ me to life!”

176. “Time to ‘blossom’ in the city of love!”

177. “Having a ‘bud’-iful time this spring!”

178. “Spring vacation is a ‘breath’ of fresh air!”

179. “I’m ‘petal’-ing my way through this beautiful city!”

180. “Spring travels? ‘Yes, I ‘bud’ do!”

blue domed white building with flowers and ocean in the distance

Jokes about Summer Vacation

The sunny season of summer is the perfect time for travel and humor! These jokes about summer vacation will make your Instagram captions as hot as a day at the beach. So, get ready to dive into the laughter pool! There’s just something really special about watching the sundip below the horizon on a sandy beach. These sunset quotes are your ticket to social media fame.

181. “Summer vacations always ‘sun’d me good vibes!”

182. “I’ve got a ‘tan’-talizing tale from my beach travels!”

183. “The sea and I are ‘shore’ to be best friends!”

184. “Summer vacations? Always a ‘bright’ idea!”

185. “I can ‘beach’ about travel all day long!”

186. “Summer trips always ‘heat’ up my adventurous spirit!”

187. “This trip is a ‘ray’ of sunshine in my travelogue!”

188. “I’m always ‘shore’ of a good time on summer vacations!”

189. “Beach trips ‘sand’ me straight to happiness!”

190. “This summer vacation is ‘sun’-thing special!”

Best Travel Puns & Vacation Puns Conclusion

As we conclude this whirlwind tour of travel puns, vacation puns, and every conceivable form of hilarity in between, remember that the best trips are the ones that make us laugh at the journey as much as we marvel at the destination.

Whether it’s puns about countries, jokes about cities, or road trip dad jokes, the world is brimming with funny vacation jokes that can turn your next travel post into a landmark of wit and whimsy.

So, keep exploring, keep laughing, and most importantly, keep sharing the joy. Your Instagram followers, like eager tourists, await the next fun-filled update.

More Travel Captions for Instagram & Travel Quotes

Best London Instagram Captions & Quotes New York City Captions & Quotes Hilarious NYC Puns Funny California Puns Ultimate California Captions for Instagram & Quotes San Francisco Instagram Captions Funny SF Puns for Instagram Los Angeles Quotes for Instagram Hawaii Captions for Instagram Hawaii Puns Captions Sunshine Captions for Instagram Inspiring Sunset Quotes Road Trip Quotes for Instagram Hiking & Trekking Captions Lake Instagram Captions Nature Captions & Quotes

Haley is the founder of the global travel blog, Haley Blackall Travel. She has travelled to 40+ countries across 5 continents over the last 15 years and is considered an expert in her field.

She loves to share honest first hand experience from her travels. Her goal is to help readers planning their next trip by providing in-depth travel guides and recommendations for her favourite boutique hotels, things to do and travel itineraries.

Haley focuses her expertise on countries such as Greece, Turkey, Italy, Costa Rica, Australia, Sri Lanka and Indonesia.

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26 Jokes About Travel That Will Make You Laugh And Then Cry

Dear middle seat: I'm sorry I didn't appreciate you more.

BuzzFeed Staff

Although a trivial complaint in the grand scheme of 2020, many people are bummed that the coronavirus travel restrictions have put a stop to their vacation plans. Airports are empty , passports are collecting dust, and wanderlust is at an all-time high .

Psst...our Virtual Vacation newsletter can help with that wanderlust. Sign up here !

So if you're missing travel, enjoy these jokes that will make you both laugh and cry.

Irene FTP Merrow @_irenemerrow would pay a lot of money to get drunk in an airport on my way to a vacation destination rn. like maybe even the amount of money it takes to get drunk at an airport. 09:55 PM - 26 May 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite

View this photo on Instagram

brooke miller @buhrooke This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. 🥺 Normally, I do not go because I am poor. 07:21 PM - 26 Jun 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite

Ashley Crem @SafeWordTaken Eighth day of self isolation and it’s like Vegas in my house. We’re losing money by the minute, cocktails are acceptable at any hour, and nobody knows what time it is. 02:56 AM - 24 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite

De'arra Taylor @dearra My passport bored af 🥺 12:56 AM - 20 Jul 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite

The News Clan @thenewsclan We all live in the airport now. Take a shot of tequila at 7am. Wear your sweats during a video call with your boss. There are no more rules. 03:44 AM - 19 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite

Ciara Johnson @hey_ciara Nobody: Travelers during quarantine: "#Takemeback" "We travel not to escape life, but for life not to escape us." "The wanderlust is REAL" "Passport gettin' dusty." "Catching no flights & all feelings." "Kinda even starting to miss the middle seat." 03:21 AM - 16 Apr 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite

Black Lives Matter (Dr. Waitman Wade Beorn) @waitmanb Connoisseurs know. #coronapocolypse 06:35 PM - 15 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite

Ashley Fern @disco_infern0 airports are gonna go from being the meanest place to be to the nicest once we’re allowed to fly again. check my bag? go ahead. screaming baby? sit right next to me buddy. 01:41 AM - 05 May 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite

Anna Harrison @ABananaRambling Newest airport codes for our current travels. LVG - living room DNR - dining room BTH - Bathroom BKY - back yard PAT- patio MBR - master bed room OFC - office WNC - wine celler What other places are in your current plans? 09:57 PM - 29 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite

lahâmez @hameslauren Tbh I’d rather do this than fly in a middle seat right now https://t.co/gPRWE8fzG6 02:55 AM - 10 Aug 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite

But in all seriousness...not being able to travel is the least of our worries.

Anne Marie Lastrassi @tinnkky I understand 2020 stinks but if the worst effect this thing has had on you is having to work from home & cancelling international vacations you should absolutely be grateful as a MF 03:25 PM - 10 Aug 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite

Stay safe, everyone!

Don't forget to check out bring me for all of buzzfeed's best travel tips and hacks, vacation inspiration, and more.

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101 Funny Travel Puns (with City Names and One-Liner)

I absolutely love travel puns. They can be so hilarious, creative, unique. Some of them would be even fantastic to put on t-shirts, others may be a bit silly. Upgrade your trip with these funny and best travel puns and jokes.

Some of them are city-related, others to sights and even food. You can use these travel and backpacking puns for your instagram captions, whatsapp status or facebook updates. Be creative!

Do you use these puns about travel?

Then please link to this site; this way you support us. You can also tag us on Social Media with

@instagram.com/hostelgeeks
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Enjoy even more…

best adventure quotes of all time
funny travel quotes to put a smile on your face
best travel quotes to boost wanderlust
best solo travel quotes

Best Travel Puns and Jokes

I want to kick off this list with my favorite best travel puns and word plays. Some of them are very short puns for traveling, others are, well, longer. Some of these puns are original travel-related puns by Hostelgeeks. Please tag us and credit us, that would make our day ❤️

I just a-door this city!

Nothing about this trip is plane.

I am always in good mood when traveling. After all, I am a No-Mad. (by Hostelgeeks ❤️)

Two backpackers in a hostel.

“Kenya tell me your favorite country to visit?”

“OMAN…this is really a tough question. What about you?”

“Yea-man, there is so many”

(by Hostelgeeks ❤️)

We thought our tour guide got lost in Tokyo, but he said it was all part of Ja-plan.

When traveling in November: Wish you a success-fall trip!

With all these lockdowns and quarantines, let’s see when we Ghana travel again. (by Hostelgeeks ❤️)

I just met you, but I can already tel-aviv you like backpacking Israel. (by Hostelgeeks ❤️)

I love to travel around South America. You are never Bolivia it how beautiful it is. (by Hostelgeeks ❤️)

Finally found some cover from the rain and was able to take a sigh of re-leaf.

Trying not to overdue it with the library puns, so I will put them on hold.

Might buy a boat schooner or later. For now a kayak will do.

– by instagram.com/welove

It was love at first flight.

When in Venice: Let’s get fizzical.

This place is rem-arc-able!

Traveling to the Bahamas is a pig deal! (by Hostelgeeks ❤️)

The ancient history behind this archaeological site makes it Saudi-sirable to visit.

Tropic like it’s hot.

When traveling, sometimes, Alaska local for directions.

Having suite dreams.

Suites in Hostels & Hotels: Of course, there are funny hotels puns as well with this. You can be creative here and turn your suite dreams into beautiful wallpapers too.

I absolutely love backpacking South America. You could say, I really Ecua-dor it. (by Hostelgeeks ❤️)

Oman was beautiful, now I Muscat-ch my plane.

That’s it!!!! I have to Quito my job and backpack the world. (by Hostelgeeks ❤️)

Read : best lockdown jokes

Having to unpack my suitcase after vacation is like the ultimate emotional baggage.

There is Norway I want to go back home.

It’s impossible to ruin this view!

Always a flamingo-od experience visiting Bolivia.

I never believed I could travel the world, but a friend of mine told Yucatan do it.

Every backpacker before a trip: Don’t know where to go? Just winging it.

It’s impossible to ruin the view of the Colosseum.

Travel Puns with City Names

With so many cities around the world, you can do pretty much endless puns. And this is not just with cities, but also countries and areas. Have a look, you will ecu-adore them for sure.

I love travelling to Croatia. Especially in summer, it is very hvarm. (by Hostelgeeks ❤️)

I once traveled around the Middle East. How? Well, I-ran. (by Hostelgeeks ❤️)

My favorite ream cheese is Philadelphia.

I will travel to France. After all, I have nothing Toulouse.

Moher Risk, Moher Fun!

I hear the deserts in Stockholm are very swedeaned.

When I travel to Australia, I need to earn some money. I was thinking about baby-sydneying.

My favorite meal and country to visit? Turkey.

You know what…PHUKET, I will travel now! (by Hostelgeeks ❤️)

I was backpacking the middle east…and OMAN, it was beautiful!

Why travel the world? Cusco’mon you only live once!

I once traveled to Puerto Escondido in Mexico…I could not find it! (by Hostelgeeks ❤️)

It is Amalfi-ly difficult having to leave Positano.

Having the best Thames in London!

What a Rome-antic city.

This country is un-belizable.

I am a Ghent-lemen.

The puns in Croatia were Hvar from satisfactory.

Where does Homer Simpson travel to? Oklahomer.

Bulgaria? Sofia, so good.

I am just rome-ing…

I’m Havana great time.

Beach Puns for Traveling

When traveling is possible again, I will beach you to it.

I once travel to Puerto Escondido in Mexico…I could not find it!

Lagos back to the beach!

Arrivederci, beaches.

Keep palm and carry on.

I need Vitamin SEA.

My favorite destination? Shorely Thailand.

It’s a-boat time we took a vacation!

Stick to the sea-nic route.

What is the favorite destination of a single guy backpacker? Isla Mujeres!

Sea you real soon.

How do you know if it is a friendly ocean? It waves.

There is so much still to sea.

I try not to get tide down in one place when there is so much to sea.

Life is better in slow m- ocean .

Best Funny Travel Food Puns

Obviously food plays a big role when we all travel this world. From Paella in Spain, Croissant in France to Burritos in Mexico and Sushi in Japan. And I would bet, you already have right now your favorite travel food in mind…am I right?

Therefore, food deserves its own travel food puns and world plays.

Scoops, I did it again.

Do you wanna taco about it?

My friends traveled way more than me while I was busy eating. Now I have to ketchup.

When I travel in Mexico, I am never burrito-ed.

When backpacking Belgium, time fries.

When backpacking France, time fries.

I want to travel to Argentina again, just to meat again.

When I am not hungry, I have nacho problem.

Do you want to travel together? Sure, let’s spice it up a bit.

I scream ICE-CREAM!

Another one bites the crust.

I like colorful things, it reminds me of my home in avocolorado.

This place stole a pizza my heart.

I love to travel and to eat. Yeah, I am a real weir-dough.

I am your biggest flan.

I appeachiate traveling with you.

I am always in a good mood when backpacking Mexico. So no queSADilla for me today.

I do-nut want to go home.

Summary for Best Puns for Travel

What does one traveler say to the other? Glad, you made it that far. Same here. I really hope you enjoyed this selection of my favorite funny travel puns. I added city names, beach quotes, countries and even food.

You know, pretty much anything you need for a vacation.

We are 100% Independent: Some links on Hostelgeeks are so-called affiliate links. If you decide to book through these links, we earn a small commission at no extra cost to you . Your support allows us to keep producing high-quality, independent content free of influence from hostels or external advertisers. Learn more here . 🙏

✏️ Read our Editorial Guidelines

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Tourist Jokes

How many tourists does it take to change a light bulb? Seven. One to hold the bulb and six to ask for directions. What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Memphis campus? A Tourist. What do goblins mail their friends while on vacation? Ghostcards Where do the pianists go for vacation? Florida Keys What the tourist said after seeing a Hindu Yogi walk over hot coals? Wow, that's some feat! Where can you find a pepperoni tourist? The Leaning Tower of Pizza. Where do crayon go on vacation? Color-ado! Did you see the film where Marty McFly spends a summer in Europe? It's called "Backpack to the Future" Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? I heard Macaulay Culkin went to Rome Alone. American Tourist An American tourist went into a restaurant in a Spanish provincial city for dinner, and asked to be served the specialty of the house. When the dish arrived, he asked what kind of meat it contained. "Senor, these are the cojones," the waiter replied. "The what, you say?" exclaimed the tourist. "They are the testicles of the bull killed in the ring today," explained the waiter. The tourist gulped but tasted the dish anyway, and found it delicious. Returning the following evening, he asked for the same dish. After he finished the meal, the tourist commented to the waiter: "Today's cojones are much saltier and smaller than the ones I had yesterday." "True, senor," agreed the waiter. "You see the bull, he does not always lose." Lawyer A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so unique and fascinating that he picks it up and asks the shop owner about the price. "Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it." "You can keep the story, old man," he laughingly replies, "but I'll take the rat." With his bronze rat under his arm, the tourist leaves the store. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars. Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to run full tilt. No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously, now not just thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes rushing up to the water's edge a trail of rats ten city blocks long is behind him. Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it with one arm while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay with the other, as far as he can heave it. Pulling his legs up and clinging to the light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown. Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop. "Ah, so you've come back for the rest of the story," says the owner. "No," says the tourist, "I was wondering if you have a bronze lawyer." Small Tourist Hotel A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23. The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman.

But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down the main staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto the banister for dear life.

She finally managed to get to the counter of the little shop in the hotel. The clerk looked really concerned, "Whatever happened to you, honey? You look like you've been wrestling an alligator!"

The bride groaned, hung on to the counter and managed to speak,

"Ohhh God! He told me he'd been saving up for 75 years, and I thought he meant his money!!" Railroad Station A tourist stopped off at a small railroad station where, sitting by the side of the tracks, there were Native Americans selling their wares. The tourist saw a blanket he liked very much, and was told that the price was a hundred dollars. The tourist offered fifty. The Native American said, "Price is one hundred. Bargains like Manhattan you no get anymore!" Currency Exchange "A Korean man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 200,000 Korean won and walked out with $200. The following week, he walked in with another 200,000 Korean won, and was handed $185. He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week. The teller said, "Fluctuations." The Korean man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!""

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Moscow Jokes

A man is on a street corner in moscow yelling “the president is an idiot “, every day in moscow, people buy newspaper, glance at front page, throw straight in trash., a man stands in line at an atm in moscow., a man in moscow goes up to a newsstand and buys a newspaper…, (a joke i wrote myself) a russian man walks through the streets of moscow., three men were sitting in a prison cell in moscow in 1937, putin and obama meet in moscow, so this couple goes on vacation to moscow, jokes about the war in ukraine i heard in romania, vladimir putin suffers a heart attack amidst the ukraine crisis, and falls into a coma..., a jewish man living in moscow applies to move to israel., moscow newspapers, a woman is walking hand-in-hand with her husband on christmas eve in moscow, an american couple was being shown around moscow one day, when the man felt a drop hit his nose....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.

A tourist from canada walks into a moscow restaurant., i was surprised wagner got to moscow so quickly, a man goes into the streets of moscow and yells :, putin dies and goes to hell. after a while, he's given a day off for good behavior., putin visits estonia, the moscow state circus are sad to announce..., a joke from moscow, vladimir putin, wanting to get on the good side of voters, goes to visit a school in moscow to have a chat with the kids., did you hear about the car crash in moscow, in 2017, trump went to meet vladimir putin in moscow, problem with corruption in moscow, putin and biden are wrapping up their discussion..., a mule walks into a bar in moscow, i proposed my russian girlfriend and she said yes, this is moscow radio:, would you say that a cemetery in moscow…, russian media reports: 250 people protested today in moscow, two ukrainian spies have infiltrated into moscow and have set up for their plot to kill vladimir putin., an american politician and a russian politician are having dinner, a soviet strip club, napoleon at the annual military parade in moscow, a man is protesting in the red square in moscow, everyone is talking about how the inaugural attendance was 1/40 of what it was in 2009..., lubyanka prison is the tallest building in moscow., an american spy goes to russia..., why do the la rams love moscow mules so much, how long does it take a russian tank to drive from moscow to kyiv, on a weather forecast in russia, a reporter said it was -50c in yakutsk., a russian and an american get on a plane in moscow and get to talking., an american tourist in moscow, where's moscow, the only cow in a small town in poland stopped giving milk..., after traveling to moscow, the russian opposition leader thought he got bitten by a suspicious wasp., asked my friend in moscow what he thought of the situation over there, a man is standing on the red square in moscow with a banner: "death to the bloody madman", the president of the usa is meeting with the president of russia at moscow, it's the 1950s, and four russians come to moscow after a long trip..., a tourist sees a man holding a blank piece of paper in red square, moscow, police detained a man in the moscow city for holding a sign with a word "dickhead"., an old jewish man is leaving the soviet union, 1937 in moscow, a communist spy and an american spy are camping out in opposite buildings on moscow., moscow cops, a citizen of moscow went into a restaurant, what noise does a bug make when it hits your windshield in moscow, a talmudist goes to moscow..., a young american couple are walking through moscow..., why couldn't the man leave moscow, soviet curfew, newcastle has partnered with moscow to corner the napkin market., a couple are in moscow on christmas eve, a couple was walking in moscow in the 1970s, a couple were walking through moscow one day in the 60's, why was vladimir involved in a traffic accident on the way to the airport in moscow, heard about the moscow plane that went down..., a man in moscow decides to take his own life., a man and his wife are walking through the streets of moscow in the 40s, vladimir putin shows up in one of the moscow's primary schools, a russian jew had been allowed to emigrate to israel., joseph stalin goes to visit one of the farming collectives outside moscow, why couldn't the nsa whistleblower leave moscow, the vodka bottle, an american spy is sent into the soviet union, the president of ethiopia pays a visit to moscow to meet vladimir putin, call of duty, a man was walking down a street in moscow at night, [long] a german, frenchman, and russian board a small plane from madrid to moscow., a soldier and a citizen are sharing a cigarette in soviet moscow one evening when they see a man hurrying down the street..., on holiday in moscow, my mother told me told me to set an early alarm or i would have to rush., the suspicious soviet., pro tip: make sure it says "made in the usa" on your bottle of viagra..., minister shoigu, the definition of politics, after hunt for red october came out, my family moved from moscow to san francisco, where i became a fan of the 49ers with steve young as quarterback, during the cold war, the cia wanted to create the perfect russian spy., radio yerevan was asked: is it correct that grigori grigorievich grigoriev won a luxury car at the all-union championship in moscow, word spread quickly that a meat shipment was inbound from moscow, in the russian soviet federated socialist republic., a world war 2 joke, my personal trainer in moscow surprised me by making me do a weird turning movement while holding a medicine ball., an english, a japan and a russian are visiting russia., a man from moscow decides to move to a new collective farm in siberia., as i stood before the airline ticket agent, i said "i want to buy a ticket to london. but i want one bag to go to tokyo and the other to moscow.", my girlfriend was hurrying me along and asking when things were going to be done so i asked her if she was my clone from moscow. she looked confused and said "no, why", it's a cold night in moscow, and natasha and sergey are getting busy in the back of sergey's brand new yugo., a guy was watching tv in moscow, and the weather forecaster says that it's -35c (-31f) in irkutsk, siberia., if hillary nukes russia i can see the headlines now, soviet financial inspector visits a synagogue, so there was an american and a russian arguing., kgb joke. because we don’t have enough soviet era humor, putin decides to invade poland, a russian and a jew (long joke), shaggy dog story…, one day, a man ran through red square in moscow, shouting at the top of his lungs, "khrushchev is a fool", did you hear about the update to firearm ownership laws in ukraine, rabinovich, a soviet trade official, is called to the party meeting to be fired..

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Updated Ideas

Let's Discover Great Ideas

Embracing the Fun: Top 10 Tacky Tourist Ideas You Can’t Miss

Ah, tourism! It’s that time when we pack our bags, leave our inhibitions at home, and set out to explore the world. But let’s face it, amidst the breathtaking sights and cultural experiences, there’s a guilty pleasure we all secretly (or not so secretly) enjoy – the wonderfully tacky side of tourism. Yes, we’re talking about those activities and souvenirs that might make the locals roll their eyes but give us an unexplainable sense of joy and amusement.

“Tacky tourist” activities are often labeled as cliché or overly touristy. Yet, they hold a charm that can turn any trip into a memorable adventure . Whether it’s collecting kitschy souvenirs, dressing up in outrageously touristy outfits, or visiting famous tourist traps, these experiences are about embracing the lighter side of travel. They remind us that sometimes, it’s perfectly okay to be a little goofy and enjoy the simple, whimsical aspects of being a tourist. So, let’s dive into the top 10 tacky tourist ideas that you absolutely can’t miss!

Table of Contents

The Classic Souvenir Collection

There’s something irresistibly fun about hunting for that perfect, albeit slightly gaudy, souvenir to bring home. It’s like a treasure hunt where the treasures are wonderfully bizarre and joyously tacky. Here are some classic and outrageous souvenir ideas to look out for:

Snow Globes : These little glass orbs, with their miniature scenes and floating glitter, can transport you back to your holiday destination in an instant.
Fridge Magnets : Whether it’s a landmark, a flag, or a cartoon version of a local dish, fridge magnets are the quintessential tourist souvenir.
Oversized T-Shirts : Shirts with bold, often humorous statements about the place you visited are a wardrobe staple for the tacky tourist.
Keychains : From Eiffel Tower replicas to kangaroo-shaped trinkets, keychains are a small yet classic way to commemorate your travels.
Novelty Hats : Think sombreros in Mexico or Viking helmets in Scandinavia – these hats are as fun as they are impractical.
Postcards with Puns : Because who doesn’t love a cheesy pun about the place they’ve visited?
Local Delicacies (In Candy Form) : From gummy Eiffel Towers to chocolate-covered kangaroos, these sweet treats are a deliciously tacky take-home.
Shot Glasses : Even if you don’t drink, these tiny glasses emblazoned with tourist destinations are a popular collectible.

Dressing the Part

What’s a holiday without dressing up in the most stereotypically touristy fashion? Embracing the tacky tourist look is not just about the clothes; it’s about immersing yourself in the fun, carefree spirit of vacation. Here are some classic tourist outfit ideas that are sure to make your travel photos memorable:

Hawaiian Shirts : Nothing screams ‘tourist’ louder than a brightly colored Hawaiian shirt. The more flamboyant, the better!
Oversized Sunglasses : Think large, colorful, and possibly with an unnecessary amount of bling.
Bucket Hats or Visors : Perfect for sunny destinations, these hats are not just practical but also a staple in the tourist wardrobe.
Fanny Packs : Yes, they might be the butt of many fashion jokes, but fanny packs are incredibly handy for keeping your essentials close.
Socks with Sandals : Controversial? Maybe. Comfortable and unmistakably touristy? Absolutely!
‘I Love [Destination]’ T-Shirts : Whether it’s “I Love New York” or “I Heart Paris”, these shirts are a classic tourist trademark.
Camera Around the Neck : It doesn’t matter if you’re using your phone to take pictures; a camera around the neck completes the tourist look.

Wearing these outfits might make you stand out as a tourist, but that’s the point! It’s about having a good laugh, making unforgettable memories, and maybe even making new friends who are amused by your attire.

Tourist Trap Hotspots

Tourist traps often get a bad rap, but they are popular for a reason. They are fun, easily accessible, and an essential part of the tourist experience. Here’s a list of some famous tourist traps around the world that are worth a visit:

Times Square, New York : The epitome of a tourist trap with its neon lights, bustling crowds, and endless entertainment options. For a detailed guide on what to do in Times Square, visit Times Square NYC for visitor tips and more.
The Leaning Tower of Pisa, Italy : Perfect for those cliché yet irresistible ‘holding up the tower’ photos.
Madame Tussauds Wax Museums : Located in various cities, these museums offer the chance to snap a picture with uncanny wax figures of celebrities.
The London Eye, England : Offering stunning views of London, it’s a must-visit despite being a well-known tourist spot.
Hollywood Walk of Fame, Los Angeles : Walk alongside the stars, literally, on this famous sidewalk.
The Eiffel Tower, Paris : It might be crowded, but skipping the Eiffel Tower when in Paris is almost unthinkable.
Venice Gondola Rides, Italy : Overpriced? Maybe. A once-in-a-lifetime experience? Definitely.
Las Vegas Strip, Nevada : Casinos, shows, and bright lights – the Las Vegas Strip is the ultimate tourist playground. For more insights into what to do in Times Square, including unique experiences, check out Free Tours by Foot .

Over-the-Top Tourist Photos

One of the hallmarks of a true tourist experience is capturing those over-the-top, quintessentially touristy photos. These are the pictures that you’ll look back on with a mix of embarrassment and fondness. Here’s a list of some iconic photo ideas that are a must for any tacky tourist:

‘Holding Up’ Famous Landmarks : Like the Leaning Tower of Pisa or pretending to touch the tip of the Pyramids.
Jumping in Front of Monuments : A mid-air jump shot in front of a famous site is a classic.
Funny Faces with Statues : Making faces or mimicking the poses of statues is always good for a laugh.
Wearing Themed Hats at Theme Parks : Donning Mickey Mouse ears at Disneyland or a wizard hat at Universal Studios.
Crossing Abbey Road, London : Recreate the iconic Beatles album cover.
Funny Signs : Posing with amusing or oddly translated signs.
Famous Movie Scene Reenactments : Like the Rocky Balboa pose on the Philadelphia Museum of Art steps.

Themed Restaurants and Cafes

One of the joys of traveling is experiencing the local cuisine, but sometimes, it’s the quirky, themed restaurants and cafes that make for the most memorable dining experiences. Here’s a list of some unique themed dining spots around the world:

These themed restaurants offer more than just food; they offer an entire experience. From dining under the sea to eating in a room filled with nostalgic memorabilia, these spots are sure to provide entertainment along with your meal.

Embracing the tackiness of tourism isn’t about forgoing the cultural and historical aspects of travel; it’s about adding an extra layer of fun and spontaneity to your journey. These tacky tourist ideas, while sometimes cheesy, are a way to let loose and enjoy the lighter side of travel. They remind us that travel is not just about the destination, but also about the joyous, sometimes silly moments that make up the journey. So next time you travel, don’t shy away from the tacky tourist traps, the outrageous souvenirs, and the goofy photo ops. After all, these are the memories that often bring the biggest smiles when reminiscing about your adventures. Embrace the tacky, embrace the fun, and make every trip a story worth telling.

Check out the rest of the ‘ Updated Ideas ‘ site; there are some cool articles waiting for you! Fancy writing for us ? Just give that contact button in the top right a tap. Cheers!

History Fangirl

The Ultimate History Travel Blog Since 2015

41 Revolutionary Russia Puns for Russia Instagram Captions & Statuses

Jokes about Russia Puns for Russia Instagram Captions and Russia WhatsApp Status

Last Updated on: 8th August 2021, 11:37 pm

Looking for hilarious Russia puns to share with friends before a trip to Russia? Or perhaps you want a few clever puns to use as Russia Instagram captions or a Russia status on your trip? Here are my favorite Russia jokes and puns to help make your amazing trip even more enjoyable!

Read Next: 101 Travel Puns & Jokes for Hilarious Travel Instagram Captions

Can’t read now? Pin for later!

How to Use these Russia Puns & Jokes

Feel free to use this post to find puns and jokes about Russia for your photo captions, Russia Instagram captions, Russia Whatsapp status, Viber status, Russia Facebook status, or however you want!. If you do use one, I’d love if you linked or tagged me so I can enjoy your work!

If you use one on a website, please link to this post. Otherwise, you can follow and tag me on social media so I can see you using them in action:

Instagram: @historyfangirl

Facebook: Stephanie Craig – History Fangirl

Twitter: @ahistoryfangirl

The Best Russia Puns for Russia Instagram Captions

Here are my favorite Russia puns for every circumstance.

Russian City Puns

Don’t’ have a Moscow .

In Russia, they grad on a curve.

And they lived happily Tver after.

How do you like my Perm ?

Catch me in Kazan.

Too legit. Tula -git to quit.

Maybe Samara time.

Kaluga Matata

Truth Orsk dare?

The Little Murmansk

Aren’t you grad to see me?

Sochi -ll already

Russia Travel Puns

We planned a slow itinerary because I hate Russian around.

Rasputin on airs

Nothing but nyet

Ural in for a good time!

Crimea River (this one is possibly in poor taste…)

Better off Red Square

Da -finitely

Kremlin and clover

Checkov mate

I like to ride my Baikal over the place.

Hey, stop Stalin and just go already.

Arbat -ter up!

Putin on the Ritz

Do you prefer chocolate or Danilov ?

And I ran, Ivan so far away

Barents just don’t understand.

Lions and Taigas and bears, oh my!

The game is Altay -ed up.

Russia Food & Drink Puns

Don’t be chai .

Blini and you’ll miss it.

Kiss my kvass

Sbiten kitten

Russian vodka is spud -tacular.

Like a shooting starka .

I’m having a bad herring day.

Kissel me, Kate.

Ukha- n have it all.

Please sir, can I have some Mors .

Want more Hilarious Travel Puns?

I’m a little obsessed with travel puns. If you are too, check out:

101 Travel Puns & Jokes for Hilarious Travel Instagram Captions
101 So-Bad-They’re-Good Italy Puns & Italy Instagram Caption Inspiration
50 Fabulous France Puns & Jokes That Will Make You Groan with Glee
40 Dope Denmark Puns for Denmark Instagram Captions & Statuses
27 Fabulous Germany Puns & Germany Instagram Captions

For more great travel quotes, check out my entire library of Travel Quotes, Puns, & Memes.

5 Things to Pack for Your Trip to Russia

Germany - Berlin - Suitcase and Day Bag packing to leave

The Lonely Planet Russia guidebook for your trip. It can be hard to find big, international guidebooks once you land (or they’ll be way overpriced). Get yours ahead of time, either a hard copy or on a Kindle.

An Unlocked Cell Phone so that you can use a Russian sim card while here to help navigate public transportation and when you’re on the road.

Backup Charging Bank for your cell phone since you’ll be using it as a camera, GPS, and general travel genie.

A Camera since Russia is super photogenic. I use a mix of my Nikon D810 and my Samsung8 smartphone these days.

A Great Day Bag so you can carry what you need with you (like your camera, snacks, water, sunscreen, cash, etc). My current favorite is the Pacsafe Citysafe , which is especially great for Russian cities because it has many anti-theft features designed to deter pickpockets. It also transitions to a night bag more easily and won’t embarrass you if you go to dinner directly after sightseeing all day.

More Russia Travel Resources

Before your trip to Russia, check out Destination Russia: A Delightful Travel Memoir about the Voyage East .

Don’t Forget About Travel Insurance!

Before you leave for Russia make sure you have a valid Travel Insurance Policy because accidents happen on the road. I pay for World Nomads, and I happily recommend them. It’s especially important to get travel insurance if you’ll be hanging out in cities like Moscow and St. Petersburg where tourists can easily become the targets of pickpockets.

I have been a paying customer of World Nomads for travel insurance for three years, and I happily recommend them. If you get sick, injured, or have your stuff stolen, you’ll be happy to have the ability to pay for your medical bills or replace what’s stolen or broken.

Pin these Russia Puns & Jokes About Russia for Your Trip!

In this Article:

Overhyped, Overrated Tourist Traps to Avoid at All Costs

Overrated tourist destinations.

There are plenty of attractions that you must see when traveling. You can’t go to Paris for the first time without seeing the Eiffel Tower, and few people want to come home from Yellowstone without photos of Old Faithful. But for every tourist destination that’s come by its iconic reputation honestly, there’s a crappy tourist trap that isn’t worth your time or money.

Sure, a lot of this comes down to personal opinion. After all, one person’s tacky attraction is another person’s campy must-see perfect for Instagramming. Yet, we feel pretty confident that the overrated tourist destinations on this list are a total wash. Their lines are long, the crowds add hours to your visit, and the chances of having the time to genuinely take in what you’re seeing are very slim.

Our advice: With the time and money you saved by giving these a miss, find some place more beautiful, compelling and unique to visit instead.

Plymouth Rock

Let’s start where America started, except that America didn’t really start here, anyway.

Put bluntly, this attraction is massively lame. It’s just a rock, in a fancy canopy that’s way more impressive than the rock itself. As the story goes, the Pilgrims first disembarked onto this rock in 1620 when they arrived in what would become America. They quickly founded Plymouth Colony, which is recreated down the road in a tourist destination much more worthy of your time.

But the truth is that no one even claimed that this particular rock was the arrival point until the mid-18th century, so…yeah, it’s likely all made up. Also, Native Americans were here long before the pilgrims showed up. Besides, the pilgrims landed at what would become Provincetown, on the tip of Cape Cod, a month before Plymouth anyway.

Blarney Stone

Let’s move across the ocean from Plymouth to another big ol’ dumb rock: the Blarney Stone near Cork, Ireland. The deal with this rock is that you’re supposed to bend over backwards to kiss it, and thus receive the gift of “blarney” – essentially eloquence.

If waiting in line for several hours to plant your mouth on a rock slimy with the moisture of a million other lips touching it is your thing, be our guest. But we’d rather walk around the more interesting grounds, including a garden of poisonous plants.

Completing our tour of overrated rocks, we’ll scoot over to Wiltshire, England, in order to warn you to avoid Stonehenge.

It’s not that this prehistoric monument is a total waste, but it’s never quite as grand as you were expecting. The stones aren’t 50 feet high, and the crowds take away the sense of eerie wonder that must have entranced those who stumbled upon the mysterious circle back in the day.

We’ll be honest – there are tons of stone circles all over the United Kingdom, many of which are far more impressive in their location and beauty than Stonehenge. The Calanais Standing Stones on the Isle of Lewis in Scotland are a great example.

Niagara Falls

It’s certainly not true that the waterfalls themselves are overrated. In fact, they’re stunning, a majestic display of the power of water.

The problem with the falls is the entire mini-economy of tourist crap that’s been built up beside (and under) them. The Canadian side is a little better than the American, but still, it’s just an unending array of gift shops, tacky restaurants and tourist attractions, as if Branson, Missouri set up shop beside one of Earth’s natural wonders…and blocked the view.

Times Square

Times Square, the beating heart of New York City, is loud, tacky, overcrowded and not very much fun. That won’t stop most tourists from venturing into it anyway, only to break free, several minutes or hours later, gasping at how awful it is. Yep, we said it.

While Manhattan has made real efforts to improve this area with pedestrian-only sections and better traffic flow, it’s still insanity, so we can only recommend going there if you’re on your way to a Broadway show. Otherwise, the best way to see it, if you must, is to walk down 8th Avenue and take a quick peek at its humming activity.

Four Corners

Lest you think we have something against crowds, our next stop on the overrated tourism tour is one that’s remote and rarely very crowded. Four Corners is where Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico and Utah meet, forming, well…you get it.

As you may be aware, states don’t have actual physical borders, so there’s not much here but a plaque in the ground and a bunch of state flags. If you’re driving by anyway, sure, stop, but don’t go out of your way, like, at all. At least it’s free.

This might be the most controversial inclusion on this list, and we get it: If you’re taking the time to go to India as a tourist, you’re probably going to go to the Taj Mahal. But don’t say we didn’t warn you.

First, you will drive forever to get there. Then, you will stand in line forever to get in. And then, once you’re in, you and approximately one million other people will pour through the palace, utterly ruining its serenity by chattering, taking photos and generally missing the entire point of the place, which was built to mourn and honor a lost love.

The Leaning Tower of Pisa

Your enjoyment of this attraction will really depend on how much you’ve taken in the title of the place, because it says it all: There is a tower in Pisa, and it leans. That’s about it.

Oh, you can climb it, too, if you like waiting in line to exert yourself near utter strangers in order to glimpse an ok-ish view of the Italian countryside. Also, it’s 18 Euros (about $20) to do so.

Westminster Abbey

It’s not that Westminster Abbey isn’t impressive – it is. Here, you can visit the graves of famous Brits like Charles Dickens and Darwin, and explore the aisle where royal luminaries such as H.R.H. Prince William and the Duchess of Cambridge walked on their wedding day.

It’s just that the church is so darn crowded, with guides leading herds of tourists around while braying out information. Also, a heads up before you go in: This is not the place where Prince Charles and Princess Diana got married (that’s St. Paul’s Cathedral) and it’s not where Jane Austen or William Shakespeare are buried (Winchester Cathedral and the Church of the Holy Trinity in Stratford, respectively).

There are a lot of famous churches and cathedrals in the UK; make sure this is one you really want to see.

Madame Tussauds

There are a bunch of these strange wax-figure museums in cities around the world, including Amsterdam, Paris, Sydney, London, Hong Kong, Tokyo, New York and Las Vegas. All of those cities are known as tourist destinations, which should give you all the warning you need.

This is, at best, a sort of weird place, and at worst, a hugely depressing slog which will make you question just why our society values celebrity so much. However, if interacting with creepy, poorly rendered copies of famous people is your thing, at least you know you have myriad opportunities to do so, as long as you’re willing to cough up some cash (generally between $20 and $35, or more if you want to tack on attractions like “Ghostbusters: Dimension Hyper Reality Experience”).

Versailles might be the most depressing tourist trap on this list, because it could be a beautiful and intriguing destination if it weren’t so filled with other tourists. But because so many people want to see Louis XIV’s palace about 30 minutes outside of Paris, and because the folks who run this place seem to have never heard of fire code guidelines, you’re almost guaranteed to see more of the back of strangers’ heads than the palace itself.

If you must go, explore the idyllic and less-crowded grounds instead, timed to when the fountains are on.

Wall Drug Store

About 10,000 signs alert you to the fact that Wall Drug is ahead when you drive across South Dakota, probably on your way to or from Mount Rushmore. The signs are fun, giving you something to look for while you drive what seems like an endless highway.

But just keep on driving and don’t stop: Once a gimmicky but real drug store, Wall Drug is now a shopping mall that specializes in crap. Imagine fake cowboy hats, fake cowboy boots and tacky t-shirts, not to mention overpriced food, as far as the eye can see. The only thing worth stopping for is the jackalope (a made-up jack rabbit/antelope cross-breed) statue, and the still-free cup of water.

South of the Border

Then there’s this place off three well-trodden highways in South Carolina, which makes Wall Drug look like the epitome of taste and subtlety. Like Wall Drug, South of the Border was designed to trap tourists (and their money), but it doesn't have Wall Drug’s history.

It was developed in 1950 to be intentionally campy, and boy, did the owners succeed. Attractions include a video arcade, a tiny amusement park, fireworks stores and a statue of “Pedro,” a crude caricature of a Mexican bandido.

This place is truly depressing, like the underbelly of American consumerism flipped over and left to burn in the sun.

Manneken Pis

Lest we start to think Americans have a lock on the tacky, Brussels steps up.

This inexplicably famous statue shows a little boy urinating into a fountain. Let’s be honest: If you go to Brussels, you’ll probably go to see him. But at least you won’t expect much. It’s a little boy. Peeing. That’s it.

The "Mona Lisa” at The Louvre

Millions of people flock to the Louvre in Paris every year, and a huge portion of those millions make their way to Room 711 to see Leonardo Da Vinci’s famous "Mona Lisa." We’ve been there. And we can tell you, it looks exactly like you were expecting, except smaller.

Is it worth it to wait in line for hours to peer through bullet-proof glass to see it? That’s up to you. But we can tell you that the Louvre has thousands of other pieces, almost all of which are beautiful and easier to see.

The Empire State Building

Yes, yes, it features in two of the greatest romantic movies of all time, “An Affair to Remember” and “Sleepless in Seattle.” All we can say is that these days, with its steep entrance fee, massive crowds and intensive security check, it’s hard to find much to love here. And when you actually get to the top, you can’t even see iconic sights like Central Park!

Our advice: Take photos of this building from outside, and move on. There are many places in the city that offer the opportunity to snap a great shot of the Manhattan skyline...and they won’t cost you $20.

Pyramids of Giza

They’re an ancient wonder, but pretty hellish for modern-day visitors.

For one thing, the Pyramids of Giza (the most visited pyramids in the world) are in a desert, and, as you may have heard, deserts are usually hot and dry. That makes for a difficult journey to the site. Add in the difficulties of negotiating your entrance fee — different prices are set for different pyramids — and the fact that exploring the structures involves navigating long, dark, narrow, low tunnels to see a bunch of empty rooms…and, well, we’ll pass.

Trevi Fountain

This fountain in Rome was completed in 1762 and has been revered for its beauty ever since. We’re mentioning that because you’ll likely have trouble doing more than glimpsing it unless you go at the crack of dawn.

Hundreds of people wait for hours to throw a coin in because a legend insists that doing so assures that they’ll return to Rome one day. Don’t bother being one of them — just book a return trip!

Hollywood Walk of Fame

The appeal of this array of stars set in concrete eludes us. It’s not like the famous people are there, or that the stars are in any way distinctive — they just have a famous person’s name on them.

If watching celebrity superfans and teenagers let loose on family vacations is your thing, then by all means, head down to Hollywood Boulevard. But we suggest you skip the stars as well as the former Mann’s Chinese Theatre (now the TCL Chinese Theatre), an inexplicably overhyped gaudy monstrosity of a cinema on the same street.

The history at this famous site in San Antonio is interesting, of course, and the courage of the people who died there compelling. But a glance at the website, where instructions for this “Shrine to Texas Liberty” include “Gentlemen, please remove your hats…” reveals the problem: It takes itself way too seriously, and streamlines a complicated history into simplified ideas about bravery and sacrifice.

Also, it’s small and often crowded and too hot.

Tower of London

Look, we know you’re going to go to the Tower of London if it’s your first time in the city. Just don’t say we didn’t tell you what to expect. The crowds are endless, so bad that in some parts you’ll queue for a half-hour in order to ride a people mover — including past the Crown Jewels — to maximize the number of people who can “see” the exhibits. And you’ll pay about $40 for the honor of doing so.

Also, keep in mind that this is a place that tries to pass off a bunch of loud crows as “the Tower Ravens.” Off with their heads.

Copenhagen Little Mermaid Statue

Fancy a long walk through Copenhagen for no other reason than to gaze at a four-foot-high statue stuck on the waterside, while jostling for space alongside a bunch of other tourists who got snookered into doing this?

If so, we have a suggestion of which statue to see. Prepare to wait a long, long time to get your photo taken with her.

Mount Rushmore

It’s a very cool sculpture, Mount Rushmore, set high in the Black Hills of South Dakota, begun by Gutzon Borglum in the 1920s and finished in 1941. But even if you have no issues with the men portrayed and the men who carved them, the problem is that it is set very high in the hills, so far away from the viewing platform at the National Park dedicated to it that you need to bring binoculars to really see much of anything.

Also, there are hundreds of people around you trying to see the same four faces. Next.

Roman Colosseum

When you’re planning a trip to Rome, people will tell you you have to visit the nearly 2,000-year-old Colosseum, but oh, we wish you wouldn’t. The queues to go in are long and disorganized. And once you make it in, the walking is difficult, there are tons of people there, and few interpretive signs are provided.

If you have to go, try to do so in the off-season, when there are fewer people and cooler temperatures. We hate to double-diss Rome in this list, but alas! Thumbs down. (And don’t worry: There are a million other amazing sites to explore in the city instead.)

Grand Canyon Skywalk

You might remember when this opened in 2007; people went nuts over the idea of a glass walkway jutting out over the rim of the Grand Canyon, theoretically allowing visitors to gaze down into the abyss. But the key word here is “theoretically.”

These days, the Skyrim is so crowded that you can barely see your own feet, let alone any tremendous views, and the price gouging is out of control: The cheapest ticket is nearly $50. Maybe instead just drive to a lookout on the canyon rim, and, you know, look out?

Statue of Liberty

The strange thing about the Statue of Liberty is that so many tourists are willing to go to Herculean efforts (generally involving at least a long subway ride and a ferry) to get to it when there is so much else to see and do in New York City. At least it’s now open, having been closed after September 11, 2001 for many years because of security concerns.

But the big secret of the Statue is that the views out of the crown aren’t very good, and you have to climb an extremely claustrophobic staircase to get to them. Our advice is to take the Staten Island ferry for a great view of Lady Liberty for far less time and money.

Whale Watching

We get it: Whales are majestic and beautiful creatures. But the truth of the matter is, unless you’re going whale watching in an area where there happen to be lots of active whales who like to jump and slap their tails around, you’re going to be underwhelmed.

Most whale-watching tours involve staring into the middle distance over the ocean for long periods of time, only to be sent running to the other side of the boat to see what looks like a small dark island appear and disappear in the water. And you paid $50 a person for that. Yay?

Bird poop. Sorry, but that’s what Venice is full of, due to all of the pigeons that flock here. Also flocking? Tons and tons of tourists.

What no one tells you about Venice (but we will) is that the canals make for lots of narrow and confusing streets, with quite a few dead-ends along the way. Now, picture those tiny streets packed with people, and smeared with…well, you know. Poop.

French Quarter

All anyone ever talks about regarding New Orleans is how charming it is, and given what the city has been through in the last 15 years, with Hurricane Katrina decimating it, we’re all for its charms being celebrated.

But the French Quarter is not charming. It’s full of visiting day drinkers and businesses that use sleaze to sell more drinking. Other areas of the city, like Algiers and the Garden District, are far more enticing and authentic.

The Las Vegas Strip

Everyone visiting Las Vegas thinks that it’ll be like being in one of the “Ocean’s 11” movies (original or 20th century versions). It is not. It’s much more like tromping around a bunch of fake (cool, but fake) attractions in the blazing desert heat.

Everything costs $1,000,000. Everyone is nice to you because they want your money. You can’t get close enough to those freaking fountains at the Bellagio to even really see the show.

Eventually, you’ll give in, go back inside, and play the slot machines for hours, just like everyone else.

The Hollywood Sign

For those who feel that giant letters just do not get enough tourist attention these days, this famous sign, high in the hills over Los Angeles, is must-visit. For everyone else, though, shots of it in your favorite L.A.-based movies or television shows are likely satisfying enough.

The hike up to the sign is steep, and, well, let’s just say the letters aren’t more interesting from behind. Hit pause next time you’re watching, instead.

Willis Tower

This used to be called the Sears Tower, and it’s a very, very tall building in Chicago, once the highest in the world, actually.

In theory, it offers amazing views of Chicago and Lake Michigan, but once you factor in the crowds and Chicago’s frequent bad weather, it’s not worth the trouble.

By the way, the Willis Tower offers the Skydeck, a glass-floor that extends out from the tower. You’ll pay $24 a person to enjoy all four feet of it. Yep. Four feet.

There’s no denying that Denali, the highest mountain in North America is stunning, an immense form on the horizon seen from the national park that bears its name.

The problem is that you have about a 1 in 3 chance of actually seeing it, since it makes its own weather and seems to be awfully fond of creating fog.

Alaska is a long way to travel to see fog, even if you vaguely understand that there’s a mountain in it somewhere.

Najing Dong Lu

Shanghai’s most famous street is frequently called a shopper’s paradise. It’s a pedestrian area, often compared to Times Square, which should be all the warning you need: like New York’s “shopper’s paradise,” Najing Dong Lu is crowded and full of scam artists.

And the shopping? Mediocre, and full of chain stores. Visitors who stand out from the Chinese crowd will be particularly targeted, harassed by frequent offers of counterfeit goods and ladies of the night.

Christ the Redeemer Statue

Like the Hollywood sign — a comparison that is not often made with Jesus — the famous Christ statue in Rio de Janeiro is better appreciated from afar or on screen.

The problem here isn’t the beauty of the statue, which is just as impressive up close, but rather the grueling traffic on the road to get there, and the massive crowds once you finally make it. Not to mention that plenty of tours stop for 10 minutes, tops.

Old Town Prague

Prague’s Old Town section, dating back to the Medieval era, is both historical and attractive.

Everyone else has figured this out too, however, so you’ll be lucky to catch a glimpse of the actual tiny, exquisite buildings while you trundle along, jostled constantly and trying not to trip over the cobblestones.

Arrive early or late for a better shot of actually seeing something there.

Sacre Couer

This cathedral in Paris, where prayers are said 24 hours a day, is stunning. As a bonus, the views over the city are gorgeous, too.

So, why is Sacre Couer on this list? Because of the super-aggressive hustlers on nearby streets, including by the entrance to the funicular that many visitors will take to and from the cathedral to avoid multiple steep staircases.

These ever-present scam artists don’t take no for an answer, and ruin what should be a peaceful, contemplative place.

Burj Khalifa

Oh, great, another super-tall building. This one is in Dubai, and, as of this writing, is the current record holder for tallest in the world.

The usual caveats apply here: if you absolutely must have a birds-eye view of Dubai or enjoy the idea of visiting an 148th floor, go for it, but most people will wonder if the trip to the top was worth $100 a person. Yes, really.

Forbidden City

Beijing’s most famous tourist attraction fails in the same way Versailles does: in an effort to let in as many tourists as possible, far too many people are in the Forbidden City most of the time.

It’s hard to imagine that a site as large as this one could feel crowded, but because most visitors want to see a relatively small portion of it, they tend to cluster together in cramped areas.

You’ll be moved along quickly by workers, and have a stunning view of the backs of many strangers’ heads.

Vatican City

There’s plenty to see in the Vatican City, but frankly, it’s depressing to experience this much wealth in one place. Everything not nailed down (and some things that are) seems to have been plated with gold, and there are enough tapestries and velvets and jewels to make you think you’ve wandered into Liberace’s closet.

Of course, there are some stunning works of art here, and you can enjoy them if you don’t think too hard about how much good such wealth could do in the world instead of piled up here.

Lavish in a completely different, tackier, way, Elvis’s mansion is still attracting visitors, 40 years after his death. It’s become one of those self-perpetuating tourist destinations, where people go because it’s there for people to go to, more than because they’re real fans of the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll.

Save yourself the trip and some money by buying a velvet Elvis painting at your local thrift shop. It has exactly the same effect.

The Sydney Opera House

Often referred to as one of the most iconic buildings in the world, and few visitors to Sydney will miss taking a photo of it. That’s all fine, but only those who actually want to attend a performance should make further efforts to see it up close.

Most visitors agree that the interior is nothing special, and not worth the trouble. Also, there are about a million steps around the property, making the appearance that you can glide right up to it decidedly incorrect.

Moscow’s jewel is a must-see for most visitors. But be warned: It’s just a square. There’s not much in there besides huge crowds. The better idea is to visit the old buildings around it and nearby, and snap photos of the skyline from outside of it.

Since construction scaffolding there seems to have become a new constant for Russia and it’s particularly dense around here, there’s even more reason to appreciate it from afar.

The White House

No matter what your opinion of the current residents of the White House, the tour itself is a bit of a snooze, unless you happen to snag a ticket during the winter holiday season when the decorations are pretty enough.

After waiting in a line for a very long time, it takes forever to clear security to get inside: seriously, it’s worse than taking a plane. The White House itself is surprisingly small, and the section you’re allowed to see even smaller. Add in the Secret Service watching everyone’s every move, and maybe you’d rather just watch another episode of “The West Wing”?

The Great Wall of China

Sure, if you’re in China, you should take the time to see the Great Wall. It’s pretty, uh, great. What’s not great, though, is Mutianyu, the restored section of the Wall not far from Beijing, where most tourists end up.

It’s frequently overcrowded, and, due to the restoration’s air-brushing effects, lacks the atmosphere of the rest of the wall. If you go, make sure you visit the less crowded, less tidy sections.

Khao San Road

We're sure this short street once deserved to be the most famous in Bangkok. But like so many places on this list, its popularity was its downfall.

If you visit today, you'll mostly find a line of vendors selling the same elephant pants, cheesy bags with "Bangkok" printed all over or T-shirts with lewd references catering to the party backpacker crowd. Everything you find here, from the food to the alcohol to the souvenirs, is over priced and the entire road is meant for tourists. Do yourself a favor and skip visiting this "attraction" altogether.

It seems extreme to deem an entire country as a tourist trap, but when you're as small as Monaco, generalizations are a bit inevitable.

We concede that the tiny country is very beautiful, with glittering views of the Cote d'Azur and aesthetically pleasing structures like the Prince's Palace. The problem is that Monaco is all looks and no substance. As an entire country that mostly seems to exist so the rich can go squander their money, the micro-nation is simply soulless. Unless you're part of the 1 percent and are going to gamble, a half-day trip from France is all you need. Better yet, don't bother visiting.

South Beach

We'll let you in on a secret: People who live in Miami usually skip South Beach.

The city is filled with beaches, many of which are much more beautiful than the crowded and dirty one that basically puts Miami on the map. Yes, the area is definitely worth visiting, especially if you want to experience the legendary South Florida nightlife. But if you want to enjoy the sand, go elsewhere.

Sunny Isles Beach is the best in our opinion, but you can also stay within the city of Miami Beach by booking a hotel with a private beach.

The Eiffel Tower

We are by no means saying that the Eiffel Tower itself is overrated. In fact, we'd encourage you to cut ties with anyone snobbish enough to say so.

What is overrated, however, is going up the tower. Sure, there's something romantic about saying you were at the top of one of the world's most famous buildings, but the problem is that the view you get of Paris is not the best. Why? Well, because a view of Paris that doesn't include the Eiffel Tower is inevitably underwhelming. Besides, the arduously long lines are not really worth it.

For the best view of the City of Lights, we recommend going up the Arc de Triumph at night. You'll get to see why the area is called l'etoile, or the star, and get a magnificent perspective of Paris that includes the Eiffel Tower. Another option is to go up the Montparnasse Tower, if only so its ugliness doesn't intrude on the otherwise breathtaking panorama.

Hoi An is included in every guidebook to Vietnam for its incredibly well-preserved ancient town. We won't deny its beauty, accentuated by canals and bridges connecting different architectural styles.

But once again, tourists have ruined a good thing and Hoi An is now more like Disneyland than a real town. The entirety of the place seems to run mostly to please tourists, with aggressive vendors, exaggerated prices and too many crowds. If you visit in summer, the extreme heat exacerbated by the masses makes you feel like a sardine in a tin can.

Swing at the End of the World

If you use any kind of social media, chances are that you've stumbled upon pictures of travelers in Ecuador swinging right onto what looks like the edge of a steep mountain.

Though the pictures are definitely Insta-worthy and the views are pretty, this is a case of fake social media. In reality, you have to wait in line for 30 to 40 minutes just to get on the swing for about three pushes while your friends or tour guide snap pictures of you. Besides that, the swing isn't really at the edge of a cliff but rather on a slope that gives that illusion if you point your camera at the right angle.

Ecuador has many places that are truly breathtaking and wondrous. Wasting a couple of hours of your time just to go take a picture that's really an optical illusion is simply a bad decision.

The thing about Phuket city is that besides being overly touristy, its beaches are most definitely not what they look like in pictures. Perhaps before the area was a poster child for overtourism or before plastic waste overtook the world, Phuket was truly a beautiful place to visit.

Sadly, that just isn't the case anymore. Go to any public beach in Phuket, and you won't be able to walk 2 feet without running into trash. Even the sand sometimes also has trash, so sunbathing isn't very pleasant. The only clean beaches you'll find are the private ones, and those are not only expensive but feel more like Miami's South Beach than anything. You'll get restaurants with Western food, pop songs blaring and overpriced beer.

The one exception to this are the Phi Phi Islands, which are not actually in Phuket, but which constantly get tagged as such. This is partly the reason why people expect beaches in Phuket city to be idyllic.

La Sagrada Familia

The construction of the Sagrada Familia has has taken hundreds of years longer than that of the Great Pyramid of Egypt.

Gaudi's most famous work and Barcelona's most iconic landmark, this church is certainly unusual and worth seeing — from the outside. What's really overrated is standing in line for hours and hours and paying almost $25 to go inside. Not that the geometric patterns and columns of the inside aren't astonishing, but much of it is still not finished and the crowds are unbearable.

Although this is a place of worship, its status as a main tourist attraction have stripped it of any introspective, spiritual or even sacred feeling. We're not sure this is what Gaudi had in mind for his masterpiece.

Sacred Monkey Forest

Ubud's Sacred Monkey Forest is a tourist, backpacker and digital nomad favorite. It's lauded as a must-see place in Bali, which we think is just plain wrong.

To begin with, Bali has many incredible sights that should be visited, including its numerous temples, like Ulun Danu Beratan Temple, its rice terraces and the imposing Mount Batur.

The Monkey Forest could be interesting as a temple, but its main draw is the several wild monkeys that have made their home here. What you mostly spend your time on is seeing people get way too close to the monkeys to try to snap a picture, which is something we definitely don't recommend, as monkeys can be aggressive and have very powerful jaws. There are also monkeys all over this Indonesian island, so we don't get the appeal of going to a jammed-packed attraction just to see them.

Let's be honest: Maid cafes are creepy.

Now a typical stop in the itinerary of Western travelers — many of which have a disconcerting obsession with Japan — maid cafes are something you should skip. Their whole gimmick is that they're normal cafes, but instead of a regularly-clothed waitress, you get one that's dressed like a sexy maid. If that doesn't give you the immediate creeps, there's not much we can do for you.

If you want to check out a themed cafe, we recommend the Alice in Wonderland restaurant or the Vampire Cafe .

The Space Needle

As far as city symbols go, the Space Needle is nothing to gush about, but it does make the Seattle skyline instantly recognizable.

We're not against the Space Needle per se, but we wouldn't recommend paying the $30 to go to the top. The price seems exaggerated given that the structure doesn't even provide the best views of the city. Seattle also has many mountains and viewpoints that provide much better scenery for free.

If you want to have the cheesiest, most expensive tourist experience of your life, go to Epcot.

This Disney park in Orlando, Florida, has you pay around $120 for the privilege to go in and see stereotypical replicas of actually cool places. Then, you get to go and spend even more money for inauthentic experiences and food that is for the most part pretty awful.

Epcot may not be the worst Disney park in the U.S. , but it's a pretty close contender.

Even if you're not a die-hard fan of the "Lord of the Rings" and "The Hobbit" trilogies, this preserved movie set looks like a place you'd want to visit.

Small houses with round doors are carved into the sides of soft hills and surrounded by the green countryside. The problem is that to see them, you have to pay about $85 for a tour that lasts around two hours. Groups of tourists are rushed through the set, so you don't have much time to really take it in and enjoy the beauty. As it should be obvious, the houses don't have interiors.

Hobbiton is certainly pretty, but the experience of it is an expensive let down, especially when there are so many other amazing places in New Zealand.

Lombard Street

Winding down the hill like a snake, we can understand why Lombard Street in San Francisco first drew attention as a tourist attraction. What we don't understand is why it has remained one.

An estimated 6,000 people visit Lombard Street daily , creating heavy traffic and making it impossible for residents to go on with their life. People willingly wait in traffic just to spend a few minutes driving down a zig-zagging street. Given that residents have complained about this problem for years, we deem this attraction one of the worst examples of tourism gone wrong in the U.S.

We hate to be those people, but if you had visited Tulum 10 years ago, you would have found the perfect jungle paradise that people still go look for.

Then, of course, tourists arrived in masses. With them came the bulldozers that turned the town from small and sleepy to loud and crowded. Jungle was replaced by concrete and luxury condos, and resorts stand where there were once wooden structures. Sacred cenotes are being used for raves by spring breakers. Beaches are now also facing serious trash problems, even those within the Sian Kaan Biosphere Reserve, which are supposed to be protected. The situation is so bad that there are several op-eds trying to decipher who killed Tulum .

This area of the Yucatan Peninsula in Mexico is one of the saddest examples of a magical place turned amusement park by unregulated and unconscious mass tourism. We're sorry to say this, but don't waste your time with it.

The London Eye

The London Eye, the Ferris wheel that dominates part of the city's skyline is beautiful ... from afar. But doing a long line and paying a lot of money to go on it really isn't worth it.

For one, the views aren't that great, and the experience is basically the same you'd get at any carnival that comes through your town. Unless you're dying to be trapped above the ground with your date, there are many more exciting things to do in London.

The Middle of the World

Ecuador capitalized on its location right on the Equator (hence the country's name) by building a monument and a museum on the "middle of the world." Both were really just a gimmick to allure tourists, and when the GPS was invented, it was discovered that the spot was actually around 700 feet off.

While the distance to the real middle of the world isn't huge, it's still not very worth it. Yes, you can balance an egg on a nail according to testimonies, but besides bragging rights that don't mean much to anyone, it's not a very interesting place.

Rehoboth Beach Boardwalk

Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, is definitely one of the best small towns in the U.S. But while we love the town, we'd advise anyone visiting to avoid its boardwalk on the weekends.

During the week in the off-season, it's very pleasant, but when the crowds take over, it turns from peaceful to loud and crowded. All the stores and restaurants nearby are also overpriced and usually not that good anyways.

Waikiki Beach

Like much of Hawaii, Oahu was taken over after the kingdom was colonized by the U.S. and turned into a cash cow. But no place on the island has suffered as much as Waikiki Beach.

Where there was once a rugged shoreline and one of the most sustainable societies in the world, there are now countless hotels and resorts. None of these resorts are visually interesting, and they only work to provide visitors with access to the beach while blocking the sun and the view for everyone else.

You'll hardly see a Hawaiian at Waikiki unless they're working — that should be the only sign you need.

Casa di Giulietta

The house that supposedly inspired Shakespeare's most famous play is incredibly beautiful. Sadly, visitors saw its traditional beauty and decided that the best way to honor it would be by treating it like a bathroom stall in a dingy bar.

You'll see the walls full of gum, love notes and scribblings that make it look like a sixth grader's notebook. Somehow, nobody has thought to put a stop to this infamous practice or the creepy tourist tradition of groping a Juliet statue to "get good luck in love."

Once again, tourists have damaged a place that could've been incredible.

Mall of America

Mall of America is the largest mall in the U.S. That's its entire claim to fame. But really, it's nothing except a mall, and we'd hope that after the age of 15, we wouldn't have to hang out at the mall for no reason anymore.

It does have a roller coaster inside, but so do other much cooler attractions. It's not even good for shopping since you'll have to walk long distances to get from one side to the other. Skip it altogether when visiting Minnesota.

Seattle's Gum Wall

We thought hipsters had stopped being a thing a while ago, but this wall in Seattle proves us wrong. What's the attraction? That it's covered in gum. Big deal, so is every desk in every high school in the world.

The worst part about it is that people actually make lines to take pictures in this unsanitary "attraction." Hopefully, a global pandemic will make them see the error of their ways, and this wall — who some ridiculous people call a work of public art — will disappear soon.

Drottninggatan Street

Every travel guide to Stockholm sends people to Drottninggatan for shopping. And, apparently, every tourist heeds the call.

Rather than being good for shopping, the street has become a long gallery of souvenir shops that locals avoid like the plague.

Myeong-Dong

Like Drottninggatan, Myeong-Dong is a shopping district in Seoul, South Korea, that now mostly exists for tourists. The street does have actual shops, but the crowds make it annoying for actual shopping, and things are overpriced.

People who don't know better also say the street food is great. They're simply wrong. Most of the street food stalls on the street are subpar, probably because they know tourists don't know any better.

If you really want to see it, satisfy your curiosity. It definitely isn't terrible. But there's much better places for food and shopping in the South Korean capital. We personally love Hongdae's youthful vibe and Insa-dong.

St. Louis' Gateway Arch

The arch once marked the westward expansion of the United States. It's the largest arch in the world and something worth seeing if you're in St. Louis.

But it's definitely not cool enough for you to make a trip to St. Louis just to see it. And given that it's basically the only attraction in the city, unless you have family or business there, you'll be fine seeing it in pictures.

Sydney Fish Market

The largest fish market in the whole world is bound to attract tourists. Many, many tourists.

This is what dooms Australia's Sydney Fish Market, which could be cool otherwise. But the walking dollar signs that tourists often are to locals has inflated the prices of the fish here. Rather than a local shopping experience, you'll spend most of your time bumping into other people and trying to hear anything over the noise.

Myrtle Beach

Why is Myrtle Beach still a thing? Everyone knows that the South Carolinian beach town is dirty, overcrowded and overpriced. What's worse is that its beaches really aren't that nice at all.

We get air travel used to be expensive, so people didn't have a choice except to go to nearby beaches. But that has changed, and you can now access actually nice beaches in the same amount of time and for the same amount of money. Don't go to Myrtle Beach. Just don't do it.

Victoria Peak

The towering mountain that dominates the skyline of Hong Kong could be its greatest treasure. After all, it is the tallest hill in the city, meaning that it provides sweeping views. You also take a cute historic tram up to the top, which is actually an enjoyable ride.

So what's the problem with Victoria Peak? Greed.

Once you get to the peak, you're invaded by an ugly mall filled with overpriced restaurants and gimmick-y attractions like Madame Tussauds. You can still get a view, but you have to basically work to escape the traps. The whole experience feels like the definition of a tourist trap, which is terrible given that this is one of the most visited attractions in the world .

Disneyland Paris

Yes, yes, Disney is a dream destination for many people who can't get to Florida or California.

But wasting time you could be using to explore Paris and its surroundings going on rides designed for children and meeting people in large cartoon suits? That's just not right.

We're sorry, Dubrovnik. We really do think you're one of the most beautiful places in Europe.

Like so many other places on this list, however, Dubrovnik is impossible to enjoy. It's not just that it's popular and many people visit. It's that a lot of these people are day trippers who come in giant cruise ships. It's basically Venice 2.0.

These people come down the ship in swarms, filling up the Croatian city with hundreds, sometimes thousands of more people who are in a rush to take pictures in the same spots. Given that Dubrovnik is a very old city and was not designed for a large population, the amount of people that come is simply unsustainable.

Touristic Puns

A list of puns related to "Touristic"

But they were all shook up.

Pier pressure.

Kebab Wrap.

After he climbed out he said, "Here is ze dog, dry him off and he vill be fine." I said, "Are you a vet?" To which he replied, annoyed; "Vet? I'm fucking zoaking."

But all the license plates there were from in state.

Let's go Inuit

It's got a terrible paunch line.

They're both in Dhaka

People were lined up around the block.

"That's amazing" I said "how did you know to do that? Are you a vet?" "Vet?" He asked. 'of corse I'm vet. I was in zee sea"

This is the way.

He said, “No, they usually come that way.”

They were incahoots.

He really shouldn’t have gone to the I-Fell Tower

He told the owner “keep him warm and he vill be fine” the owner asked “are you a vet?” The German replied “vet? I’m soaking!”

EDIT: Some people feel like I need to make it clear this is not my joke so... it’s not my joke.

People are dying to get into them!

He said "Khmer tourist, I got things for you to buy.

Without all those tourists helping hold it up.

I bounced a lot of Czechs.

Guy 1: I don't like tourists. You never know what they're up to.

Guy 2: I'm a tourist and do you know what I'm up to? To kill you for what you said!

Guy 1: To what?!?!?

Guy 2: Tourist.

They went from "see" to "see"

Goes up to a Londoner to ask for directions.

Tourist: Excuse me, do you know Bishops Walk?

Londoner: Why yes, it is good for them.

It was an amBUSH.

It takes a toll on everybody.

One could say I've been pining for the fjords

Go to check out of my hotel this morning. I get in the elevator and there's a group of raucous old men telling jokes and laughing. They were going down so they invited me in to the elevator even thought I was planning on catching the next one.

Anywho, as we're going down, the elderly gentleman I'm standing next to turns to me, and says

"Do you know the elevator dance?"

me: "No, what's that?"

him: "There are no steps!"

My parents went to Spain, they met a Japanese tourist while on an excursion.

Japanese tourist greets my parents: "ohayō" (pronounced Ohio)

Dad says: "California"

So for some background, my dad's a tour guide in the UK and he was showing a group round Hampton Court Palace and in the gardens there's this maze . This is the text he just sent me:

>Dad joke at Hampton Court Maze - I have fine memories of Hampton Court Maze. I used to bring my children here...... If you see them could you send them home!

I answered “Why would you think that?”

He said “Well, my teacher said they mostly live off of tourists there”.

I'm here today to tell you all a horrible story, so that none of you have to go through the same experience as my friend.

My friend, Hugh, is a very religious man, who is also involved in our community. 2 weeks ago, our local church burned down and Hugh believed it was his Christian duty to help them get back on their feet. Hugh allowed the friars of the church to set up a cart in his mall to sell their flowers. Every day, the friars came in at 7:00 in the morning with a bushel of beautiful flowers and began to work diligently to arrange them into bouquets. All was going well, the mall was generating more revenue and the church was making more money than they were by selling the flowers in front of the church on Sunday. Everyone was happy; until that first weekend.

Our town is kinda tourist-y, so we get some out-of-towners on the weekends. A gay couple came to the mall the first weekend that the friars had taken up shop (Typically, our town is pretty progressive, but the friars tended to be uber-conservative). The couple came over to the cart and admired the flowers; they tried to purchase a bouquet, but the friars refused to sell to them. The couple was outraged and went to see Hugh directly. They complained to him that the friars were being discriminatory, so Hugh promised to have a talk with the friars. When Hugh confronted the friars, they refused to sell to the couple on the grounds that “they were committing an atrocity in the eyes of the lord.” The couple stormed off and promised to boycott the cart.

This past weekend, the couple came back with a large group and a letter from the mayor, saying that the friars had to sell to them, regardless of sexual preference. The friars stood firm and refused to sell to them, so the group started a protest. They brought in signs and started chanting around the cart. The friars continued to sell their flowers and Hugh allowed them to remain, so eventually the protest began to boycott the mall, rather than just the cart.

By today, the mall had lost 50% of its normal weekend revenue. The group sent a letter to Hugh saying that they could forgive him if he shut down the flower cart within the week. Hugh was pretty broken up, but he had no choice. To maintain his livelihood, he would have to kick the friars out of his store. He talked with the friars this morning and revoked their previous agreement. The friars had their cart packed and left by 7:30, to huge cheers from the community. The mall has been pretty norm

We were sitting up at the dinner table tonight, and my sister was over too. We started talking about travelling and she mentioned about how when she went to Venice, she didn't see many of the local Venicians, just lots of tourists. Dad went on to explain to us (with a big grin on his face) the reason you don't see many venetians is because most of them are blind...

...so that tourists can have a clean getaway.

In the streets of Bangkok, there were motorbikes with carts on the back for tourists to get around the city called tuk-tuks (pronounced "took-took"). When we were looking for a way to get across the city, my dad, without fail, would proudly say, "Let's take-take a tuk-tuk!"

A rabbit walks over the boarder to the neighboring country, what does it become?

Answer Huh this wont work on pc... The rabbit becomes a Tourist

At a tourist attraction a large group walks past us speaking a different language

BF: I think they're Russian

Me: Where do think they're rushin to?

Eye roll and forehead smack. Success :)

He said, “vet? I’m fucking soaking”

"Vet? I'm fucking soaked!"

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26 Jokes About Travel That Will Make You Laugh And Then Cry

Although a trivial complaint in the grand scheme of 2020, many people are bummed that the coronavirus travel restrictions have put a stop to their vacation plans. Airports are empty , passports are collecting dust, and wanderlust is at an all-time high .

So if you're missing travel, enjoy these jokes that will make you both laugh and cry.

But in all seriousness...not being able to travel is the least of our worries.

Stay safe, everyone!